For every single thing I felt

This week, after the MRT accident, I found too many arguments in my Facebook timeline.

Deep inside I felt hurtful.

I realised one important thing.

This world is full of "lawyers" debating. Debates gives either sadness to losing opinions and pride to winning arguments.

As in "Enjoy The Silence" by Depeche Mode : Words are very un-necessary, they can only do harm

Starting from that day, I choose to post photos instead of comments in my FB to make my friends and relatives smile. To smile, at least for one moment in this living hell.

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Instead of writing comments, I google "image-search" for what I want to say. For every single thing I felt. These are the photos.

T_T

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2014/08/18/MRT-beam-collapse-3-feared-dead/

PETALING JAYA: Three workers are feared dead after a 300-tonne concrete span collapsed at a MRT construction site in Kota Damansara Monday night.

In a statement, Mass Rapid Transit Corporation (MRT Corp) said the incident occurred at the MRT worksite within the former Rubber Research Institute site near Kota Damansara.

"The incident occurred at around 8.30pm while construction of the parapet was being carried out on the MRT elevated guideway.

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Men who have created new fruits in the world cannot create a system whereby their fruits may be eaten. 

And the failure hangs over the State like a great sorrow. ...and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. 

In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage. 

- The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
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I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people's cars. I didn't care what kind of job it was, though. 

Just so people didn't know me and I didn't know anybody.  

I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. 

 If anybody wanted to tell me something, they'd have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. 

They'd get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I'd be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. 

Everybody'd think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they'd leave me alone. 

- Catcher In The Rye by JD Salinger

T_T

Walden

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walden

 
note : Walden was released on 9 August 1854, 160 years from this post.

It was during my study at University Malaya.

I  failed all my papers during my 2nd year 1st semester, and so I had to extend my study for 1 year.

This is the book that I read during those difficult times, during family and study struggle.

I remembered buying it from a small shop at the most top level of Amcorp Mall (yeah the level where McDonalds was located)

I could say that it shaped most of my mindset, especially on the part of “Who cares what you think”, i.e. not giving so much shit about what people think.

This book also helps solidify the idea of solitary in me.

I’ll explain.

Now, look around you and realise my point.

There are many married woman out there, with lots of kids and a husband, but still feels lonely.

You might be in your office full of people, yet you can still feel lonely.

You might be in a goddamn lift full of people with their body odour, good-smelly or stinking shit, yet you can still feel lonely.

So why bother being lonely inside a damn hole with your self?

Why worry about being alone, divorced from your abusive husband and noisy kids?

By then you will realise, loneliness is not by lack of companions but simply a state of mind.

And when you realise this, you will realise there’s no need to be cool, to follow trends, to adhere to opinions, no.

There will be a stamp in your heart “Who Cares What You Think”.

You will just follow what you think and feel is right, and you will feel content with that.

You will realise, you come to this earth alone, you will die and go off alone, yet find serenity in your heart.

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away" 
- Henry David Thoreau, Walden

You can read it online here:-

http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden00.html#toc

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/205