Wednesday, 5 April 2017

fake counterfeit notes

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_punk#UK_82

Street punk (alternatively spelled streetpunk) is a working class[1]-based genre of punk rock which took shape in the early 1980s, partly as a rebellion against the perceived artistic pretensions of the first wave of British punk.



I just sent my wife to her working place, and are listening to punk band GBH while writing this entry.
So forgive me for a lot of "fills" in this entry is of the "punk" nature.

Punk veteran Felix Havoc said:

It was aggressive, yet had melody. As opposed to today's "melodic" punk it still had a lot of energy. It was honest. Hence the term "street punk." There is and was a feel that this was the kids music, from the streets, and was uncorrupted by "professionalism" or "musicianship." As opposed to the anarcho bands its message was more bleak and irreverent. The music was not a-political, just a less intellectual expression of political views of working class youth. The music was marketed as being of and by the working class. I suspect this was not universally the case. Still most middle and upper class kids cringe at frank discussions of violence as evidenced in a typical Blitz song. Early 80's UK punk was catchy as hell; it has sing-a-long choruses and hooky riffs.[4]




A. Wife, the crazy others, siege mentality.

My wife have a unique way of identifying screw-ups and "shit-happen" moments in life.

For example, nowadays she likes to play Fun Hospital instead of Hayday at her smartphone.
When asked why, her reply is :-

"Dah tak suka main Hayday sebab line dia selalu gila"
(Don't like to play Hayday nowadays because the connection line to the server is crazy)

When driving, she always asked me to be cautious because of the other crazy drivers.

"Sabar bang, kat Subang ni memang banyak orang gila"
(Be patient, dear, at Subang here there's a lot of insane crazy driver).

My first year of marriage is about enjoying her remarks of the craziness of others.
The second year of marriage (present time of writing) is about appreciating the idea behind her remarks.

I realised there's some genius intuition behind it. You might call it siege mentality, or "we vs the world", but to me there's more.

It's about realising that, in life, there are and always be screw-ups and "shit happens" moments.

And when you are about to be depressed and asking God "why?", u just save time by blaming it because of the "crazy" others.

"Nak buat macam mana, dah line gila." (Well what to do, the internet/phone line is crazy)

"Abang tunggu kat luar sekejap, sayang tak dapat nak keluar sekarang, ada staff gila tengah buat gila dengan bos" (My dear husband, please wait for me a while, I can't get out from the work place because some crazy staff made insane stuff at the boss).

When the reason is about the crazy-ness, you just know it can't be helped and it's better to ignore or to find alternative or to bypass that crazy problem.

The crazy problem ain't worth a shit to solve because, well, because it is crazy, you see.

The genius behind it, is that you are sub-consciously telling your mind to ignore the crazy thing and move forward.

(filler stuff)
UK 82 (also known as UK hardcore, second wave punk,[7] real punk,[8] or No Future punk[9]) took the existing punk sound and added the incessant, heavy drumbeats and distorted guitar sound of Motörhead.[10] The term UK 82 is taken from the title of a song by The Exploited.[11] Cross-pollination existed between this era of British street punk and American hardcore punk.[12]

The three most prominent UK82 bands, according to Ian Glasper, are The Exploited, Discharge,[14] and Charged GBH............ Discharge's early work proved to be enormously influential, providing the blueprint for an entire subgenre. Their later work, however, was decried as trite heavy metal.[17]

http://www.uk82.com/




B. Fake counterfeit notes

"Absence makes the heart grows fonder".

There was someone I respected so much for his views on things. I followed his blog and Tumblr passionately before. Fortunately he's just an "online" person.

When I got to know this person for personal, I kinda feel dis-spirited.

This fella once wrote about having separate personality, the one you understand if you watch "Fight Club". If I vaguely remembered, her present girlfriend back then wrote a blog describing her life with the other 7 or 8 or whatever numbers of split personality this fella has.

One day quite long time ago, I asked help from that girl-friend of his, on where to take professional help on a mental case for a relative of mine.

During our chat, I disclosed to the girl, a fact that the condition of that relative of mine, might be due to substance abuse.

That was it.

Then few years later, I happen to befriend the fella on social media.

What I realised that, this fella is doing substance abuse (or specifically smoking weed) but nowadays he doesn't have the split personality condition.

Substance abuse will usually made the DID (Disassociative Identity Disorder) more worse.

That was when I realised.

He was bullshitting about the DID condition before:-

1.To the readers, possibly for likes and reader viewings on his blog,

2.to her present girlfriend back then and

3. to her deceased ex.

He was as fake as counterfeit notes.

Someday ago, he posted about being depressed and thoughts of suicide.

I deleted my comments because "Advice most needed is least heeded".

And I remembered my wife's unique way of identifying screw-ups and "shit-happen" moments in life.

It is just crazy.

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." - Henry David Thoreau Journals (1838-1859)

(filler stuff)


 

C. Active Choice

Punk ain't no religious cult
Punk means thinking for yourself
You ain't hardcore 'cause you spike your hair
When a jock still lives inside your head
- Dead Kennedys

My overall theme of this entry is, to realise that to empower your life, you gotta realise you have active choices in your life.
You can choose. To do that, you have to realise what the choices are. 
And to ignore, is itself a choice.

For example,
nowadays people are complaining about the quality of Malaysian TV series that's aired at 7pm.

People say it's annoying, shitty, etc.

Since my wife now works most of the time until 10pm, we didn't watch TV. I myself, with my free time around, didn't watch TV.

And to realise that, you have the active choice of not watching those shitty TV series that you complained.

Furthermore, 7pm is usually for Muslims to get ready to go to mosque or surau and stayed there until 9pm (Isya'). 
Not doing anything is itself a choice.

 Knowing that you have choices, you will understand the responsibility of your choices.



Suddenly I felt being preachy. And you guys know I don't like being preachy because I think everybody is smart enough than to be told things.

But I think I do need to be reminded sometimes.

And so this ends.



Race Against Time 

Put us on a life support machine from the day we're born,
didn't realise it was just our dawn.
By the media we've been accepted, but in reality still rejected.

From the start it won't last,
but now that's all in the past.
Never admit to being wrong,
five years on and we're still going strong.

Given a year to pack up and die,
take the taking, run and hide.
Said 'race against time', thought it was clever,
time is immortal and we're forever.

So five years on and we should be dead,
new ideas in the same old head.
Don't need help, don't need a tutor,
you're our past and we're your future.
It's a race against time, but whose racing ?
'Cus we've already won.
 

Monday, 3 April 2017

0304


Just tired and fed-up with some people.

Wife will be having her off-day this Tuesday so we might be off somewhere.

This song is cool, first heard it when I was at Melacca Matriculation College 2000-2001.

It suits my current emotion right now on being tired with some people and their emotional shit.

If I wanted to watch a drama, all I should do is just flick the switch on on the TV remote control, not these drama from these real life drama queens and kings.


Just think about it

Lately I've been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
who witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

[Pre chorus]
but you don't understand when I'm attempting to explain
because you know it all and I guess things will never change
but you might need my hand when falling in your whole
Your disposition ill remember when I'm letting go of...

[chorus]
you and me we're through and rearranged

It seems that your not satisfied
there's too much on your mind
So you leave and I cant believe all the bullshit that I find
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

[pre chorus]


[chorus]

.. you're no good for me
Thank God its over
You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin'
You make believe life is so long until you're dyin'
You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin', cryin' on me
You make believe that life is so long until you're dyin', dyin' on me!!
you think everybody is the same
I don't think that anybody is like you
You ruin everything and you kept fuckin' with me until it's over and I won't be the same. 



Limp Bizkit - Re-arranged (cover)  

Saturday, 1 April 2017

teardrops on the fire


This time I don't really mind what language is to be used for this entry/story.
And so I ask forgiveness, should any of the readers whom got lost along the story.
In this story,  actually I myself felt lost too.

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teardrop_(song)

Fraser wrote the song's lyrics. While recording the song on 29 May 1997, she found out that her once-close friend, Jeff Buckley, had drowned. "That was so weird ... I'd got letters out and I was thinking about him. That song's kind of about him – that's how it feels to me anyway."

On Friday24 March 2017, my wife, whom now work on a retail supermarket, got her hands injured while pushing trolley.

The next Saturday, she went to Clinic and was "awarded" two days of MC.

It was at the same day that my sister-in-law, a.k.a Sabrina's mom (Sabrina my favourite niece) got warded to KPMC Kajang as she was about due to give birth.

My wife rested at house with anxiety.

And so, on the Sunday, we went to KPMC Kajang together with my mother/father-in law, together with Sabrina.

Last 26 March 2017, my sister-in-law, a.k.a. Sabrina's mom (Sabrina my favourite niece), gave birth to a cute litte girl about 6.20pm.
My mother came around the evening after Maghrib with my step-dad.


 What I saw, was not only about the cuteness of a little girl, but also the turmoils of giving birth and the pain afterwards.

There was few times where the floor were covered with blood, as my sister in law was struggling to go to toilet and almost fainted.

I almost got angry with some of the relatives, whom are cousins of wife, young girls whom shrieks and laughs loudly taking selfies and wefies with the young niece of mine.
Why?

Because I knew the mother was in deep pain and helpless, and she felt helpless looking at young girls who went taking photos.
Luckily my mother-in-law, whom from Malacca had a fierce mouth, as most Malaccans do.


My mother who came, chit-chatted with the relatives of her in-laws, and she had this somehow sorrow teary melancholic look.

She iterated few times these words.

"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".

My mother-in-law and myself couldn't help noticing my mom's words and reaction.
 But silence is sometimes the best we could offer at times like that.


28 March 2017, my birthday, wife is working, I just finished one freelance job the week before so I'm free like a bird, and so that afternoon, I went to mom's house at Kajang from Subang.

Stopped by at RNR Serdang, bought some mangoes "milk-mangoes" a.k.a. mangga susu.
RM20.00 per kilo, but it was worth it.
It was "milky" and sweet.

Went around Kajang town with mom but I told her I wanted her chicken curry she cooked some days before. So we had our lunch together at her house.

After lunch, we chit-chatted together.

Somehow I learned of her latest heart-break.


I learned something from her latest heart-break.

When you are angry or upset, please keep quiet and don't say anything.

Usually what happens, is that most of the time, you'll hurt the loved ones most.

Up to an extent, loved ones just felt hurt and doesn't want to care even though she cares.

If you look it at some different view, different angle, you'll see that, we always hurt those closest to us, and not those who are apart, i.e. friends, colleagues.
Ironic, isn't it?

The heart-break was caused from an anger that actually arose out of nothing, small non-essential issues.

So I tried contacting that "special-someone" for a chit-chat to know why he had cause my mom's heart-break.

Since it was my birthday, I thought it was ok for him to have a drink with me.

There was no reply on my call or on my Whatsapp.

Nevertheless, the mood was good since it was my birthday, furthermore, we received news that my cousin delivered a baby-girl at the morning of my birthday.


On late Wednesday, my wife returned home early, had an off day on Thursday, and she started late on afternoon shift on Friday.

So we're off to Cheras from Subang, rented a hotel nearby my father-in-law house, visiting the family and the new-born baby.
(In Malay custom, usually the mother who just given birth are under "pantang" and under the care of the "elders", in this case it is my mother in law).

During our stay there, of course my wife and I were happy seeing our new-born niece.

But Sabrina threw tantrum nowdays, since she got less attention from her mom.

"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".

I saw how difficult for my sister-in-law to handle the situation, but she made it.

Somehow Sabrina now have to learn being an older sister.



We celebrated my father-in-law's birthday on March 30'th with a feast of Durian and coconut juice.

We brought home some Durian fruit back to mom-in-law's house, with KFC bucket.

While we're enjoying our dinner, I received an SMS.


It was from the "special-someone".

 It was shocking.


He told me he deleted his Whatsapp and no longer using the phone that we bought for him.

He told me he put the handphone inside the freezer.
The freezer, the refrigerator, that mechanical equipment that cools things and we're supposed to put ice-cream instead of a phone.

I replied that it was "zalim" to put things not at its rightful place. Zalim can be meant "despotic" and it is usually used to describe despotic-ness, and it's Arab mindset that imply despotic-ness came from not putting things at its correct place.

He replied angrily and that was when I realised something.

 
It's a mental problem.

To me, I realised, it was mental problem that was caused by previous substance abuse.

For women out-there, (because men seldom reads this blog thing), if a guy did any substance abuse, just reject him please.

Any substance abuse, including drinking, smoking weed, glue-sniffing even though it is perceived as minimal kinda thing.

One of the days the brain will somehow short-circuited. Some days after, usually when you need him most.

There's no reason for anyone to get into substance abuse other than reason of being cool, and the other thing is getting "high" about it makes you creative or whatever.

The addiction kills, and what people doesn't realise is, it really screws your brain, sometime after.


Remember on my previous post, about a writer whom I befriended in FB?

Her mom was in his friendlist. One day he put in his timeline that he doesn't have any money left, and her mom replied in the FB if he need financial assistance.

When he put about smoking weed session in his timeline, imagine how his mother felt reading about it?
"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".

All the pain of giving birth, the sacrifice, tears, sweat of making sure your kid is ok and somehow,
your kid drowned in the end.

It is disheartening.

Love your mother. Always.


Massive Attack - Teardrop
 
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter

Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath


Night, night after day
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath


Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath


Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my...


Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Of a confession
Fearless on my breath


Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath


Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath


You stumbling a little

 You stumbling a little

Photo Source :
https://www.google.com/search?q=highway&client=firefox-b-ab&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjqzdbp7YLTAhWJRI8KHeTKD1sQ_AUICSgC&biw=1920&bih=979#q=highway&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CQQLHKcJ0PVvIjhDlnJXyV4WfrRHhA93Jo8Y85ITy7zWbAzGXjzf4caHOUYcViuMoQa6Kg5LRrJkVa7v8ZpusiyHqSoSCUOWclfJXhZ-EZEhVM1WOYXeKhIJtEeED3cmjxgRuzkgf2PrjYgqEgnzkhPLvNZsDBFX8bzIxjKb4CoSCcZePN_1hxoc5EVoNS_1LU001SKhIJRhxWK4yhBroRijCVQpttKokqEgkqDktGsmRVrhHXlytzCoG9syoSCe_1xmm6yLIepEWt5BwoT_1PLO&*