I'm in horrible shape. There's nothing much to say but to hope for the better.
It will. In God's way, it will.
Yesterday evening at the nearby surau, the religious teacher give lecture on the issue of sincerity.
Retrospectively, we come here alone, and we will one day die alone.
When you think about being one, by yourself, then you might think about God, and realise your only connection worthwhile is with God.
Well, even if you're Atheist, you will probably realise that your connection with others and worldly things are just ephemeral....that in the end, you are one alone here.
Went to hospital few times this week with wife.
There is that moment when I hold my dear wife's hand dearly, as weak but as hopeful as I want to grip her hand, only to lose it out in drowsiness of the medicines.
When I almost black out, that was when I realise,...like what that religious teacher meant, what is the real hope and fear, and its sincerity.
The sky outside is blue, the cloud is furry white but it has some darkness in it a bit.
It looks like it's about to rain any second soon.
It's windy outside. I could see the leaves and tree branches moved, like being being swept or being brushed, yet never move away from the trees.
Some shit did happen to some people I knew online.
Some angry-ness, some disappointments, some bitterness.
People is shit sometimes. Most people are.
I myself are shitty too.
But thank God. At this exact moment, I felt peace.
Even though it might be ephemeral.
Even though the peace is fleeting.
Thank you.
One idea that I had, even though it is selfish, is that not to think much what others think about you.
If you knew it is good then change for the better.
But don't be left wondering too much, because life is too short.
A. Sihir / Amulet /Black Magic
This is some Islamic stuff so if you are not into it, you can skip this.
Some guy from my university days shared a photo of a food outlet who had an amulet hanging at the shop.
I just shared him some kind of wisdom or advice I learnt from someone.
About Islamic stuff.
First, about these black magic, it is good to have a mindset, that these magics, will not work unless God let it be so, for some sort of test or kaffarah (sin-cleansing). Surah Al Hijr verse 42.
And to always pray to God from injustice, as this magics or sihir is syrik, and syirik is the biggest injustice of all. Surah Luqman verse 13.
So by having this kinda mindset, you'll tend to think more towards praying to God, rather than to fill your mind with assumptions, pre-assumptions, lengthy talks about sihir this and sihir that.
One of the objectives of the devil is sihir, is to make you have bad pre-assumptions of people.
When someone got sick out of it, people around will usually make noise and assumes that this people or that people caused it. And this thinking fills their head and consumes their time.
So, it is best to have that mindset as per mentioned earlier as per Surah Al Hijir verse 42.
You'll work towards getting better, and not to think much about others whether they did shit you or not, and pray on God for its compassion towards making you better.
B. Social Media : popularity and traffic ratings are fleeting stuff
So today one of the Internet friends, drew something good and funny, only for her drawings to be copied by other websites and blogs for traffic ratings.
It feels shit, I don't know what words to offer for consolation, or even doubting the idea of giving consolation to her will make anything better.
Then somehow, I read something in the Net about a guy whose now involved in court cases or so.
Some years ago, this fella wrote that he is somebody that is worth to be respected.
For popularity and traffic ratings, and maybe because this things inject a lot of confidence and sense of worth to him, he wrote some things provocative and all those shit people due to increase popularity and traffic ratings.
That was then. What happen to him now?
God knows how many police report he made throughout these years.
In the end, for me, all this popularity and traffic ratings efforts, it was not worth it.
I felt much better to do something just for the passion, with the mindset of "who cares what you think."
At least I felt peace, I don't need to think much, I can switch off the computer whenever I need or had to, without worrying much.
In real life, there's so much other things, work, bills, commitment that takes precedence in effort, focus and time.
Thank you.
So whoever you are out there, whether I knew you or not,
Back on tour Driving through southwestern towns I’d been in before Sun split ember, fields that span both ways forever . When I first saw you The sky, it was such a natural blue . Stars from a back porch They’re talkin’ but I don’t say much anymore It’s old news but if you’re asking Been a long time since I’ve been moved . But when I first saw you That feeling, it came over me too Natural blue . Chicory burns grass at your knees Walk forward from your open wound Live in dreams, I remain forever inside the colors you’ve shown to me . When I first saw you The sky, it was such a natural blue The sky was such a natural blue Natural blue
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