Saturday, 19 April 2014

Heartwork


I cried alone today, at working site.

Shit happens as always, just that the pressure was too much today.

When the pressure in your life exceeded the designed pressure you can endure in your mind, then one of the thing that flung on in your mind is to quit. Same like a computer unable to handled the computation, it crashes.

But life does not permit one to just simply quit.

In 1986 a football team that lived on a little island in the south of Thailand called "Koh Panyee". It's a floating village in the middle of the sea that has not an inch of soil. The kids here loved to watch football but had nowhere to play or practice. But they didn't let that stop them. They challenged the norm and have become a great inspiration for new generations on the island.

The pressure is real and living.

And you might not get the benefit of your hardwork at the present time.

You'll question, how come others among you are so well lovely, with money and assets but living as if in paradise while you, stinking in your drenched-sweat shirt, absorbed in your hardwork trying to earn a living.

You got to travel far from your home to workplace, yet you have to work on late.

The salary you got ain't bigger than your friends, who lived a more relaxed comfort life.

Then you ask yourself why? How come?

Among the deepest fears, the deepest cut of pain, the coldest tears, you ask yourself why you did it in the first place?

Then you realised.

You do it for heartwork. This hardlife hard times, are meant for your heartwork.

You put your heart, your best effort into your work, and at this time, shit still happens.

Go on. Don't stop your heartwork.

The small pay you get from your heartwork exceeds all. It's nothing but a masterpiece.


Do something. Don't just talk. Don't just comment. Do something.

Turn your life into a heartwork. It'll be hardwork. But it is beautiful.


Sunday, 13 April 2014

so far so good so what?

song : Search - Isi Atau Kulit
Local Malaysia rock band.
from their first album “Cinta Buatan Malaysia”, year 1985.


Slayer - Black Magic


Slayer - Chemical Warfare

Sunday, 6 April 2014

leave me alone

This post http://firdaus-9898.blogspot.com/2014/04/leave-me-alone.html is reupdated on May 1st 2014, the first writing was done previously when Comot and Bubu was picked up from my house and was abandoned. I have rescued them then, but the sad thing happened again,this time Bubu and Comot was picked up from my house and was abandoned at Pasar Kajang last Monday 28 April 2014.. The reason was very private, and I'm devastated truly by all events that happened this week.
This time, I couldn't rescue them anymore as I wasn't allowed to keep Bubu and Comot in my home.












I'm trying to find peace and solace for this "forced" loss, and remembered, all loss are forced. Loss is nothing that we want, it is something forced upon us.

We, as humans, we dedicate our lives for preventing losses. And still, loss continues to be forced upon us.
I'm truly convinced, no matter how close you are with someone, no matter how hard you try to please, no matter how much we like someone, everyone are just as bastard as anyone could be.

And so, I remembered back those times when I was alone at Dubai, Bintulu and other places I've worked with, it was alone.

Then I am reminded by an inner voice, I was alone anyway. I was alone when I came to this earth, and I shall depart alone as well.

And so, there's no need to pussyfoot others. To hell with them. Just leave me alone.

Bubu, Comot. I know God will take care of you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And know that I miss you.

You kittens will be in paradise someday, but I'm not sure if I will. Sorry. Miss you.

"Tears in Heaven" is a ballad written by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings about the pain Clapton felt following the death of his four-year-old son, Conor, who fell from a window of the 53rd-floor New York apartment of his mother's friend, on March 20, 1991. Clapton, who arrived at the apartment shortly after the accident, was visibly distraught for months afterwards. This song is one of Clapton's most successful, reaching #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart in the U.S. The song also spent three weeks at #1 on the American adult contemporary chart in 1992.

"Tears In Heaven"

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven. 



The whole story of Conor Clapton (story 'behind' the tears in heaven)

Rambut Bubu oren macam dik conor clapton.