Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Greed Killing

Source :

The photos is about the Police and Local Authorities who went on to demolish poor people’s house at Kg. Chubadak, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

They been living there from ages, only to be labelled as “squatters” due to recent development by YTL Corporation on the area.

To be fair on both sides, actually the poor residents was given a “good” offer to move out. But they resented, and authoritative force was applied to get the job done.

What was the good offer?

The poor residents are offered by the Local Authority for a new small flat house, which they have to pay RM 450 for new electric and water installation, and rental fees of RM125 every month.

And they are ask to pay Rm1500 to bill the Local Authority for “goods transport fees”, i.e., money to move all their belongings to their new home.

Imagine you are a Palestinian.

Then one day an Israeli chopper bombs your house for security reasons.

Then the Israelis force you to pay rent for the new house in exchange of your demolished house.

They ask you to pay upfront for the electricity and water as well.

Oh before that, you are asked to pay transport fees as well.

All in the name of Development.

Don’t preach about religion for this kind of thing.

Religion-talk is just smokescreen in the name of capitalist oppression.

The wrong time, the wrong place
Our smiling face of distrust
Buried, the sand deep in all our hands
Prepared ourselves for the fall

The greed killing!

Instinct to mistrust
Instinct - the lust
Their butchery of feelings
Geared for the greed killing

The greed killing!

Not now, then when?
Not now, then when?
When? [x4]

The lust denies the need [x5]

Existence is the steady flow,
The moulded image grows
No care, no faith in what you are
The pressure builds right from the start

Could it be just sour grapes?
Or have we failed to fit their shape?
It's always give, and never take
How much more can we give?
How much more can we take?

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Meshes In The Afternoon

 (Note : I've deleted the two previous entry including Success : Label is for Losers, for the sake of editing and compressing the content so it's more pleasing to the eyes. My eyes, of course. )

A. Work Blog Update

Just to inform, I have updated my Work Blog as per below link :-

Photo 1 : Some work at site I did last Friday

B. Happy New Year

Happy New Year to users of Hijrah calendar. It's Year 1436 Hijrah.

Below is a much famous song in Malaysia celebrating Maal Hijrah every year, I've known this song when I was small, during the 80's.

It is sung by group Al Ajiba.

Satu Muharram Detik Permulaan
Perkiraan Tahun Islam Hijrah
Perpindahan Nabi dan Umat Islam
Dari Kota Makkah ke Kota Madinah

Atas Keyakinan dan Iman Yang Teguh
Kaum Muhajirin dan Ansar Bersatu
Rela Berkorban Harta dan Nyawa
Demi Menegakkan Islam Tercinta

Hijrah Itu Pengorbanan
Hijrah Itu Perjuangan
Hijrah Itu Persaudaraan
Hijrah Membentuk Perpaduan

Oleh Itu Mari Semua
Kita Sambut Maal Hijrah
Tingkatkan Semangat Tegakkan Syiar Islam
Untuk Sepanjang Zaman

C. Success : Label is For Losers.

(Previous post in italics)

Think about it.

People usually associated badness with races, religion, etc. (stereotypes)

For example,  Kelantanese are people who likes to pick fights/troubles, African-Americans are lazy, Mamak people are dirty and like to twist words, Chinese are greedy,  Malays are lazy and poor, Sabahan-Sarawak people drinks a lot etc.

But now think.

Pandalela Renong, Malaysian Gold Medallist is remembered by her name because of success. If you ask anyone, they ain't sure whether she's a Sabah or Sarawak-born.

Nelson Mandela is remembered by his name because of success even though he was imprisoned.

You realised, history remembers successful people, and successful people are always remembered by their names rather than their skin color, race, ethnic, etc.

Therefore, if you want to be known for your name, and only by your name, be successful in your life, and you might even forget your skin color.

Note : I realised this while laying down at home with getting healing down with this hammeroid sickness, just now. Will be back to work in 2 days time.

I will tell you honestly what I really felt when I wrote the above.
 Now, during the period when I was down with hammeroid, I remembered back the times I spent as a kid in Kajang.

I remembered few times when I hated being called a "Keling" at school.

You see, my grandfather from my mom's side comes from India, however, my mom inherited the fair complexion of my grandmother who was a Malay-local.

My father's ancestry traced back to Rawa descent, and I shared this same ancestry with Dr Yusof Mujahid Rawa.

My father, then, consoled me with the fact that, racism is a problem among poverty groups, but it was just an issue with those who are rich, i.e. successful.
For the Chinese, for example, form business groups and associations based on racial/ethnicity groups, like Hakka Association, etc. This serves some sort of protectionism for the business groups, where if one business in the group fails, the other guys will help the failing ones so that in the end, the group prospers.

They sell cheap to their own clans, sell a little bit expensive to non-clans, however, policy sometimes changes for the benefit of the group.

Now, my father argued, the Malays doesn't have this, for them, racism is just name-calling, that only serves the purpose to make them feel better than the one being looked down.

But in the end, the overall Malay group still suffers in economy hunger. Just like you and me. So, why bother?

I know my father speaks wisdom, but I only fully comprehend what he really meant.

If racism is just about name calling, then so be it and don't bother.

If you are successful, nobody will call you Keling. They will call you by your name written on your business card.

D. Meshes In The Afternoon

Merciless is an EP released by industrial metal band Godflesh in 1994 on Earache/Columbia. The EP was re-released along with the Selfless album as the compilation Selfless/Merciless, in 1996 on Earache. The cover is taken from the 1943 film Meshes of the Afternoon.

 Meshes of the Afternoon (1943) is a short experimental film directed by wife-and-husband team, Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid.

In 1990, Meshes of the Afternoon was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant", going into the registry in the second year of voting.
Meshes In The Afternoon, Maya Deren, 1943

E. Warm Feelings

I watched a BBC Documentary about Stalin.

I was strucked and touched about the story of Stalin's first wife, Ekaterina Svanidze 

Stalin would later state that, other than his mother, she may have been the only person he truly loved.

At her funeral, he said, "This creature softened my heart of stone. She died and with her died my last warm feelings for humanity."

I realised, that throughout this year, if not for Bubu, my warm feelings might have gone too.

This year, I excommunicated a lot of people and just stuck to my silence. I felt eerie yet I felt serene about it.

Like the last paragraph in Catcher In The Rye novel,

D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn't know what the hell to say. If you want to know the truth, I don't know what I think about it. I'm sorry I told so many people about it. All I know about it is, I sort of miss everybody I told about. Even old Stradlater and Ackley, for instance. I think I even miss that goddam Maurice. It's funny. Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Whether it was work, personal life/family/relationship problems, or whatever, I started to feel nothing about missing people. People just disappear. Accidents happens, physically or emotionally, but people just disappear, and you can't really do anything about it. I just stopped trying to do anything about it.

F. Introducing other people's Tumblr account :

G. Death of Sylvia Plath / Poems : Child by Sylvia Plath 

From Wikipedia : Sylvia Plath

Sylvia Plath (/plæθ/; October 27, 1932 – February 11, 1963) was an American poet, novelist, and short-story writer. Born in Boston, Massachusetts, she studied at Smith College and Newnham College at the University of Cambridge, before receiving acclaim as a poet and writer. She married fellow poet Ted Hughes in 1956; they lived together in the United States and then England, and had two children, Frieda and Nicholas.

Plath suffered from depression for much of her adult life,[1] and in 1963 she committed suicide.[2]

Controversy continues to surround the events of her life and death, as well as her writing and legacy.

Child by Sylvia Plath

Your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing. 
I want to fill it with color and ducks, 
The zoo of the new

Whose names you meditate --- 
April snowdrop, Indian pipe, 

Stalk without wrinkle, 
Pool in which images 
Should be grand and classical

Not this troublous 
Wringing of hands, 
this dark Ceiling without a star.

This poem was written after the birth of Plath’s second child, Nicholas, two weeks before she committed suicide. The poem provides an insight into her state of mind at the time, and appears to be more about Plath herself than her child. Plath surrounds images of beauty with the harsh reality of the world she lives in, and the poem is cleanly split between the first half, which provides a fantastical view of the world, and the second half, which presents the reality. -

Death of Sylvia Plath:

The nurse was due to arrive at nine o'clock the morning of 11 February 1963 to help Plath with the care of her children. Upon arrival, she could not get into the flat, but eventually gained access with the help of a workman, Charles Langridge. They found Plath dead of carbon monoxide poisoning in the kitchen, with her head in the oven, having sealed the rooms between herself and her sleeping children with wet towels and cloths.At approximately 4:30 am, Plath had placed her head in the oven, with the gas turned on. She was 30 years old. 

Sylvia Plath comitted suicide by sticking her head inside an oven and turning the gas on. But before she did that, she made sure that her kids room are sealed by wet towels so that the gas wouldn't go through and suffocate them. Knowing this, you will understand what I felt when reading the "Child" poem by Sylvia Plath.

She loved her two kids. She wants to fill it in “grand classical pool”. But she couldn’t help her depression, i.e. ” wringing of hands, the dark ceiling without a star”

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Berlin 1945


I liked military and war stuff, but it's not about machismo, men adrenaline rush or war glorification.

War is human. War is a reminder of how honest life is, for one man could be to another, i.e., to the point of killing another, a group will behave like a pack of wolves, and another group being devoured like cattle.

There’ll be numerous reasons, politics, religion, economy, hate, but in the end of the day, someone dies, and you wonder the price of the deadly silence.

It's un-ethical but it's life.

Like what Otto von Bismarck once said,

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence.
—  Otto von Bismarck
Speech to North German Reichstag (24 September 1867)

Therefore try to be the best in life and try not being weak.

Sunday, 12 October 2014

the pain ain't too much

"Though it initially sounds like a simple, funky dance vehicle, Jackson's voice bites into each phrase with a desperation that urges us to look deeper. He is singing as "false prophets cry of doom" and exhorts us to "live each day like it's the last." The chorus declares that the miseries of the world "ain't too much stuff" to stop us from jamming. To Jackson, who insists that he comes truly alive only onstage, the ability to "Jam" is the sole means to find "peace within myself," and this hope rings more sincere than the childlike wishes found in the ballads."  - WIKIPEDIA

Nation to nation, all the world must come together
Face the problems that we see then maybe somehow we can work it out
I asked my neighbor for a favor, she said later
What has come of all the people, have we lost love of what it's about
I have to find my peace cause no one seems to let me be
False prophets cry of doom, what are the possibilities?
I told my brother there'll be problems, times and tears for fears
But we must live each day like it's the last
Go with it, go with it

It ain’t too much stuff
It ain’t too much
It ain’t too much for me to
It ain’t too much stuff
It ain’t, don't you
It ain’t too much for me to

The world keeps changing, rearranging minds and thoughts
Predictions fly of doom, the baby boom has come of age, we'll work it out
I told my brother don't you ask me for no favors
I'm conditioned by the system, don't you preach to me, don't scream and shout
She pray to God, to Buddha, then she sings a Talmud song
Confusions contradict the self, do we know right from wrong?
I just want you to recognize me in the temple
You can't hurt me, I've found peace within myself
Go with it, go with it
it ain't too hard for me to jam

Friday, 10 October 2014

CDR : What I learned during the Hari Raya Haji 2014

This post is long and full of pics I want to see and remember forever in my life, so in summary is "What I learned before, during and after Hari Raya Haji 2014 = CDR"

C = Compassion

D = Discipline

R = Responsibility
1. Sending mother to Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya weeks before Hari Raya Haji

 My mom

 Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya

 My Family, My mom is the lady in black

 8.00pm, mom got into the queue-ing line, and few minutes after that, the departure gate is opened, and so my mom was the lucky few who entered early for departure.

 Last photo of my mom before she went off to depart to Saudi Arabia for Hajj. Insyallah, she will be back again in Malaysia on 7 Nov 2014.

Lesson :
When we arrive at Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya around 6pm, everybody waited but there were only few who went up to the Counter to ask. We were the lucky few Alhamdulilah.

By the time of Maghrib prayers, my mom already had her ID chain, and other Tabung Haji items. 

As just she finished her prayers, we patiently queue up in front of the departure gate even though there were not many people. There were no announcement by Tabung Haji or so. Might be they were experiencing problems or so. But then, we were lucky, truly lucky Alhamdulilah.

If we spend time arguing with Tabung Haji, there'll be no compassion for the staff and we could be late.

If we arrive late, and just hang around at the Kompleks Tabung Haji, my mom could've waited longer.

If we just waited for the announcement, my mom could've waited longer. We were lucky to respond.

CDR. Alhamdulilah.
2.Piles of work

 Material for works

 Damansara City Project

 Cables for Temporary wiring

 Drawings ready for submit

Lesson :
I was lucky to go to Office on Monday a day after Hari Raya Haji to prepare for work materials.

After office, I went to few houses to celebrate Hari Raya Haji.

Turns out that night, I felt unwell, and was shocked to found blood in the stools.

At 3pm, rushed to Hospital Kajang only to found out I had bleeding Haemmeroid.

Rushed few times this week to Hospital Kajang due to incredible pain and bleed.

The last inspection, there was abcess in the wound.

Yes, I'm blogging this while laying at the tilam on my house's Living Room.

 I blame this due to no CDR in eating. Should've taken care of eating.

 Foods taken days before incident of bleeding hammeroid
  Foods taken days before incident of bleeding hammeroid
  Foods taken days before incident of bleeding hammeroid
 Foods taken days before incident of bleeding hammeroid

Ok this is a book that I found at Masjid Jamek Kajang during 2013 "non-working" period. Was lucky to found it  few weeks ago during garage sale for RM3.00. I paid RM10. Always pay more during garage sale for books. CDR. But it was worth it.

3. CDR by other people who took care of me during this sickening period.

I thanked my dear brother who drove me to the Hospital, bought food and the main contributor "to the taking care of this bleeding-hammeroid-person" effort. My auntie Mak Ajiah too. But then they do not want their pictures taken so this is the little brat who took care of me as well by running around playfully and being a good boy.

 Before Hari Raya Haji
 Minutes before trip to Petshop Boarding, as I went to Tapah during Hari Raya Haji

Coming back to house happy

 Trying to cheer up his "Abah" who is in pain

 Taking care of "Abah" while on top of Abah's stomach

 Sleeping beside painful Abah.

  Sleeping beside painful Abah.(Photo's taken this Friday Afternoon)

 Sleeping beside painful Abah. (Photo's taken this Friday Afternoon)

Note : Abah means Father. That's what I called myself when I was with this orange kid. :P

4.Going back to Tapah to rekindle relationships with relatives from my father's side.

My uncle, who was from my father's side (who has since departed) called me a week before Hari Raya Haji, asking me to drop by to Tapah, Perak, as soon as he learned my mom went to Hajj this year.

At first, I wasn't sure if I could make it due to heavy work load of my current project. 
Alhamdulilah. I made it.

 Kampung Batu Masjid, Tapah, Perak

 My uncle's house

 Now I know why I'm a cat-person.

 Bunch of meows.

I went back on Saturday and was there the same day (It was a 2 and a half hour trip).

Sunday, had Raya Prayers at Kampung Batu Masjid's mosque before going to Gopeng to an auntie's house and going back again to Tapah the same day.

Monday morning 9am, going back to KL.

It was very heartfelt, as my uncle is 72 years old and my Gopeng's auntie was 83 years old. She still recognise me by the first look and this amazes everyone and made me feel very sad actually.

I'm glad I spend my time with them. It was not just a duty. It is what I call family.

5.Hospital staffs : Private and Government

C = Compassion

D = Discipline

R = Responsibility

This is my personal experience, so I will be responsible for this posting.

My experience favours the Government Hospital staffs more than the Private Hospital staffs.

I do not want to elaborate what happened, but I found the Government Hospitals staff have more CDR than those in the Private sector.

Simply because, they were understaffed, underpay, but they still serve because they can see and feel that this people that they served, do not have the financial means to afford more.

I seen with my eyes, how people lay down in the chairs of Hospital Kajang, how the babies cried, the looks of their frustrated but patient parents, this people who can't really afford.

I felt guilty actually when going there but I had no choice simply because you are sure you will be treated during those odd hours and those odd moments there, and because I was in terrible pain and bleed.

But I did not expect that my brother and I was going to be treated harshly at Private Hospital, simply because my brother didn't dress well and didn't speak proper English.

I laid helplessly feeling rejected, and getting heavily charged. The treatment was too mechanical. The people is mechanical. I felt that they were not doctors or nurses, they were hotel workers.

From my experience, I now know that CDR cannot be bought with money. It has to come from something called dedication. If you want to be good with your profession, you have to be dedicated to it. Then CDR will come. Higher salary will not promise good CDR.

6. Social Media : Blogging, comments, Tumblr. and Life In General

Me. I'm just an Mechanical engineer in construction.
I like music a lot.
In the same time, I like studying Islamic knowledge, and I'm more towards the "academic" part of it.
I have my preferentials and dislikes.


I remembered this during my times at Melaka Matriculation College. It was the words of Tuan Haji Yaakop Haji Idris.

 It is translated to English into something like this

"If you play, play hard, play the best you can.
If you study, study hard, study the best you can
Be the best in that field that you currently do and dont mix it up with other things, just be the best in that field"

And so,

When it's time for Work, then work hard.

Do not discuss other stuff other than Engineering in a Construction Project meeting. 

Do not discuss Islamic Religion in a Construction Project meeting, one because it is not proper, two, because people are making sure people are abound by Contract terms and Safety so none of us went to Heaven during working time. 

When you are in Praying time, or in Praying mode, then do the maximum and the best you can.

There is time and moment for each things in life.

 The problem with social media nowadays is that one person might want to adverse to many topics in life and giving their shit opinion about it.


We forgot about the lessons of Adam Smith in Wealth Of Nations, advancement of wealth and knowledge is made by "specialisation"

By Dedication and specialising with the trade and skill you know best.

If you are not the expert of it, then keep quiet.

Only talk of things you are expert at.

Doing this, you are contributing to advancement and not just idle talks.