Thursday, 16 November 2017


There was this controversy regarding certain hotel that discriminates tudung-wearer from holding certain jobs.

I don't want to discuss the issue though. I want to talk about the word "discrimination" and "discriminates".


Firstly, about this Ella - Penawar video clip, I have a certain understanding and view about it, which makes the feeling more tragic and melancholic.

There was someone I knew, quite an old person.

He was outspoken, and he was critical. But then he was too critical, and hurt his family, friends, or those near to him. 

He was being abusive with his mouth and words, whether he realise it, or not, or maybe he didn't give a damn because of certain proudness.

Like the Napalm Death's song "How The Years Condemn", the flow of time is something that people forgets, and truly, the years gone by condemns.

People starts disappearing from our life, whether by death or they chose something more important, or maybe started not giving a damn.

His life too.

Then one day, out of rage, this guy, divorced his wife. 

The kids were by then are teens in University and soon started their own career. What happened was, the kids lived together with their mom, while the guy, had to move out somewhere else.

He lives nearby our family then. 

He soon had problems with my bro, with his words, telling no-good stuff. He was critical. His eyes were sharp but his words sharper.

I was back and forth from Malaysia and outside, then when I was in Malaysia for good, sometimes I met him alone.

With me, I guess he respected me, so I was saved from his critical remarks.

By then, he was quite a fragile old man, who lived alone, renting room with Myanmar and Bangladesh guys, at some office shop building.

He had a heart attack, and my family (without my bro), tend to him and assisted him to hospital. He had few heart surgery before this.

One day, while chatting, he told me something over cups of tea, that for him seems non-chalant, but for me, that was the "oh shit" moment. He told me "critical".

I guess he felt he was being closed to me, and felt relaxed, and somehow he opened that dam of resentment overflowed to those who are near to him.

I never invited him to my wedding some years later.

I'm glad that nowadays, some of his kids do came from far to attend to him while he was sick. Or visited that old man during spare time. The guy even came to my mom's house recently asking advice from my mom about diabetes.

But I stayed away and quiet.


When I read this, I truly agree with it, but would like to made the view more broad.

People discriminates. You and me, we discriminates.

I even thought that discrimination is actually our ESS, in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt.

Whether you agree or not, I don't really want to preach you to change your mind.

The thing is, men, no matter how positive we like to tell about our self, we are actually quite limited.

Our time, effort, health, abilities, friends and folks, whatever we have or own, are limited and bounded within our confines.

So you have to choose the best and make the best with what you have.

With this limited resources, and with time gone by, sometimes we have to discriminate.

And with the increasing petrol prices, (well the crude oil price today is 55.4 USD per barrel at NASDAQ), and all the negative reviews and views in the Net,

I choose happy things to think about.

And I hope you too.

Wish you guys to be happy and healthy.
Read from right to left

Read the rest here

Surprisingly, this song is similar to Mortal Kombat game theme song. It was released in the same period too. :3

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Ujian ke bala Tuhan?

Something happened, and I learnt something. But it'll be a quick update, hence the writing will be in Malay.


Rumah aku area Mutiara Subang U5 tak ada air.

Religiously, kalau renung2 surah Al Mulk ayat 30, time tengah tak ada air ni, boleh buat kau insaf. Bagus lah kalau insaf.

Ada la geng2 berbual aku, bercerita tentang banjir baru2 ni di Penang. It is said ada kaitan bala Tuhan tentang Oktoberfest or sort of.

Aku tanya tadi. Habis tu, yang tak ada air kat area rumah kita ni, kira macam mana, ujian Tuhan atau bala Tuhan?

Tengah2 musim banjir musim hujan, area kita tak ada air, macam mana tu?

Senang saja. Benda discomfort ni musibah. Usaha sama2 kita, untuk bantu membantu apa yang patut, daripada mengupas isu tak habis2.

Bila benda kena kat orang lain, memang sedap nak cakap ni bala Tuhan, bla bla bla.

Bila musibah kena kat diri sendiri, then kau sendiri pun rasa tak seronok bila orang cakap ni bala Tuhan. Kau hanya tahu nak bagi lepas masalah saja.

So don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you.

Dan, kalau Muslim tu, rajin2 la ke surau, at least kau dapat tahu public info, dan boleh join volunteerism untuk bantu area berdekatan yang ada problem.


note 16 nov 2017 : the above post deleted. I felt bored and melancholic.

Monday, 30 October 2017


Thomas Cole - The Course of Empire -The Savage State -1836
Source : Wikipedia

a continuity of things from the previous post.

This stories are ok if you are religious or a bit religious. If you're atheist or doesn't care about religion, then I'm sorry I might bore you to death.

For me, sometimes things need to be understood and felt at the same time.

3. Love

Thomas Cole - The Course of Empire = The Arcadian or Pastoral State - 1836
Source : Wikipedia

Some days before our visit to Kota Tinggi, I slept at my brother's house at Kajang, while my wife slept at her family's house at Cheras.

I'm now on talking terms with my bro, the relationship between us is fine.

So, the story goes, that some months previously,  my bro found a helpless kitten after he finished his prayer at a surau nearby home.

The poor kitten was helpless, partly because she was blind. My bro named her Ema.

My bro went to few vets, she's fine now, yet still blind. My bro had a collection of photos and videos of Ema, which is told by vets, to be 5 months old.

I was chilling with my bro, practicing guitar of Metallica's "Jump In The Fire" together when Ema came, and my bro took her and fed her milk with bottle.

My bro's got boring and tired playing music maybe, so he turned on one of the preaches from the popular Dr. Maza, the Perlis Mufti / Cleric.

I followed this Dr Maza on Facebook, it was that time Dr Maza with Raja Muda Perlis was on a visit to the Rohingya's refugee camp in Bangladesh.

One story was, when Dr. Maza was asked to give a speech in English by Raja Muda Perlis to the Rohingya's refugees, and so he had to speak English as it was the only language both understood, and so he started with few Quran verses.

Dr Maza was surprised when he saw some of the refugees were moving their mouth when he recited the Quran verses, and yes, he was proved correct when he guessed there were some refugees who were actually Quranic Tahfiz. (those who memorised the whole Arabic Quran).

Dr. Maza later wrote life was bloody harsh and yet there are Rohingya people whom are Tahfiz, we Malaysians who never experience the same tragedy should take note and lesson of this.

I was reminded of this story, when I heard the preaches of Dr Maza on my bro's laptop, while watching Ema being fed, that led me to think of this.

My thoughts, can be described like this.

If you ever watched the poor mothers in Africa, holding their sick hungry children in their arms, do you know how they felt? Can you figure what the mothers felt?

Photo Source :

The poor mothers in Rohingya, who hold their children in a refugee camp, the destitute mothers somewhere in the bloody conflicts around the world, can you figure what the mothers felt?

I can think at least of two.

At least there will be two things the mothers would've felt.

One, is the mother's love to a child.

Second, is the mother's pityness to her child, that her child should not suffer this.

I think that, God, at least in Islamic view, is Ar Rahman and Ar. Rahim, which means love.

And somehow, God's love to you, is more great and more near, than those of the poor mothers I mentioned above, and my bro's love and pity to Ema, single or combined.

And so, don't delay for the Istighfar / asking for forgiveness, even if you felt you are a total loss sometime, because the magnitude of God's love you, is so great that I can't describe it with words, but only with emotional coherence.

4. Miniatures

Thomas Cole - The Course of Empire = The consummation - 1836
Source : Wikipedia

At Kota Tinggi, during 1 night, I had a lengthy conversation with a younger cousin, about things in life.

He told his stories, I told mine.

At one point, this question was asked.

"God made creatures, both the devil and Adam, the man.

Both made mistakes, and both are \kicked' out from heaven.

But why the disparity, why is Devil so condemned without forgiveness but Adam, and the man that followed, some are blessed, some are condemned, but there are forgiveness for them until their moments of death?"

The answer was Takabbur, or Proudness.

You see, the Devil is so proud that he wouldn't "submit" to Adam, because he felt he was better created.

Adam in the other hand, made mistakes by lust, and by advice from the Devil too, but forgiveness is there who those who humble themselves.

The idea we had was, almost all sins and mistakes, the problems in this life, is actually created by our lust, but the most problematic ones are actually because the "feeling of being better".

Those who do scam, not only does it because of lust, but because he/she felt brilliant cheating others. There's that element of "I am better than you, that's why I do this shit on you because I am more clever than you".

Even in rape, not only lust, but sometimes the shit ego of making the other person subjected to serve his lust.

Stealing, yes, the lust is there, but there is also the element of choosing victim, they only steal from those they can overpower or escape with, there is the element "I can do this, somehow because that victim can't do back on me, because I am better than the victim".

Almost all mankinds shit came from lust, or lack of control of lust, and this Takabbur thing.

That's what we realised in our late night conversation.

5. Today

Thomas Cole - The Course of Empire = The Destruction - 1836
Source : Wikipedia

Today I read this and also about the Adibah Noor being attacked by #KamiGengNajibRazak social media people after she voiced out about artist, dancers, volunteers not being paid for Sea Games finale.

Not forgetting the 29-year-old Datuk Seri who assaulted the 3 Rela members.

the source of this = "I am better than you" = the Takabbur thing.

I remembered some years ago when I was involved in a project, a shopping mall refurbishment project.

This shopping mall had this client team who was supervising this project. My company was doing fire fighting installation works.

One day, a fire broke out at the mall. I remember running frantically with a senior of mine, carrying a ladder to a nearby sprinkler main pipe to access the butterfly valve, to "open" the butterfly valve so that the water can flow in and help putting down the fire.

Yeah, during the construction phase, we had to "isolate", ie turn off the butterfly valve, so that the other contractors can do work, especially electrical contractor who do re-wiring, without having water sprinkled onto them by accident.

I remembered doing all that in the thick smoke (hey the area was burning that time), somehow the butterfly valve was a bit tight to be opened, so we take some time. I thought I might not make it to safety because the smoke was getting thicker. My senior also did. 

So we gambled on trying to "open" that butterfly valve in the thick smoke, if we succeed the sprinkler will at least help and we could escape. And we did.

We ran frantically down the mall fire escape route. It would be a shame if we didn't memorise by heart the fire escape route since we had to install other fire fighting features in the escape route.

By the time BOMBA came, we had made it.

My senior, myself, plus a mall maintenance staff was with the BOMBA guys, when our boss came with the client. Everybody chit chatted.  All the client team were there, with the Main-Con.

One Malay guy, from the client team, a young guy in his 20s, said something that made my boss's blood boil.

"Well this fire must have been planned and done by this fire fighting company so that they can claim more money", he said.

We helped, and almost got killed, and what you get? Insults.

Thomas Cole - The Course of Empire = Desolation - 1836
Source : Wikipedia

Saturday, 28 October 2017

sembang babi terbang... a Malay language latest street talk term which means "a talk so amazing that even pigs fly".

Photo Source : Wikipedia

This famous photo, well the 90's kids will recognise it as Rage Against The Machine debut album cover, is a self-immolation by Thich Quang Duc, a Buddhist monk, protesting against Ngo Dinh Diem South Vietnamese government on June 11 1963.

Ngo Dinh Diem, the government leader then, is a bachelor, and has a brother, Ngo Dinh Nhu which served as his "advisor", hence holding political power. Nhu's wife, known as Madame Nhu, is somehow considered as the government First Lady. Weird isn't it?

What's more weirder was Madame Nhu's response to this self immolation.

"Let them burn and we shall clap our hands."

“if the Buddhists wish to have another barbecue, I will be glad to supply the gasoline and a match."

If you read Robert Greene's books, he would have advised you, if you have an enemy, do not mock him/her, but eliminate him/her. If you mock your enemy but didn't finish them off, the wrath from the embarassment they suffered will haunt you.

Somehow on November 1963, Madame Nhu's husband and her brother in law was assasinated. Surprisingly she was in US with her kids during the assasination, and she never returned to Vietnam again.

Just in mere 5 months the tides have changed.

Madame Nhu
Photo Source : Wikipedia

Last week, during the Deepavali holiday on Thursday October 19th, until last Sunday, my wife and I, with my mom and stepfather, went to Kota Tinggi Johor. My 6-month old niece is having her "aqiqah". We went there with two cars, one driven by my stepfather and another by my wife. They had a jolly good time chasing each other at Plus Highway on the 4 hour journey, I guess.

RATM debut album cover.
Source : Wikipedia

Story 1 : Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri

Most of my cousins from Johor, together with their boyfriends and girlfriends, somehow works in Singapore, and travels daily in and out from Malaysia to Singapore. They rented rooms at Johor Baru, and came back on weekends to meet their family.

Retail, factories and shipyards.

Let's face it. Economy is not that good in Malaysia. Housing is too expensive. The cost of living, and the headaches, etc. The currency rate of 3 to 1. What's more to say?

I have cousins who somehow at this moment, plucking fruits at Australia. Whether legal or illegal, it's not for me to comment.


I noticed, whenever my stepfather, or any relatives from KL, try to start a political topic over cups of tea while enjoying "kuih",...somehow my cousins, one by one, will somehow take their cup of tea and move over somewhere else.

And they end up watching Disney XD at Astro together with me over some non-sense action.

It's pretty easy actually.

Whether you're pro government or oppo, we don't know and we don't care.
Everybody's tired.

The economy's not good, everybody had to go that extra mile just to get the same income enjoyed previously, and for that, we still want to listen to pretty speeches?

I was wrong before. I always write people being stupid for not thinking critically and bla bla bla.

Actually, we are just damn plain tired.

When we are tired, we don't care of pretty idealistic speeches, which somehow, doesn't bring that incredible change.

We somehow knew, it is just hopeless hoping.

And so we didn't care.

Nobody did in the first place, anyway.

In the end, no matter what anybody say, it's that extra money in the pocket that matters. The one that paid the damn bills and bought those nice foods and quality things to enjoy with loved ones.

Story 2 : Blind

Pretty mei mei who actually carried guns to fight and not just hiding behind the computer keyboard and monitor
Photo Source : Pinterest

There was this old relative of mine, his age is 65 years old, so compared to my 61 year old mom, he is quite "young". 

But he looked old. He had that "look old" quality of an old guy.

Somehow during the few days I stayed in Kota Tinggi, I indeed got trapped in the political speeches and critics over dinner/lunch table by the political uncles and aunties. Simply because it is dinner and lunch. It is because it is considered rude eating briyani rice with mutton curry c/w masak merah chicken in the living room watching Disney XD.

You have to eat that wonderful dish in the dining room, listening to your uncle and aunties, which somehow, had transformed to General Mao Ze Dong or Aung San Suu Kyi debating on Malaysian politics, whether good or bad.

I didn't had time to determine which facts were good, or bad, or whether this talk would won them Nobel Prize, because I was busy chewing that surrendipitious wonderful amazing delicious delighting astonishing tender cooked mutton.

Even my wife forgotten about my existence. I looked at her, and damn, she was in her own hysterical happiness. 

And this 65 year old relative of mine, who keeps talking about politics with others, I noticed he keeps spilling his rice.

Actually, I wanted to go and lick those spilled rice, believe me, you probably would, because even my noisy wife was drowned in silence enjoying the dish.

Somehow, I observed him and waitied for my old relative to finish his dish.

It was that particular feeling when watching an  old helpless old man/woman. But in the same time, you're astonished by his will to speak politically. As if he knew his days are near, and he need to dispense all his all-these-hard-working-years knowledge.

Each word, with a fiery emotion, with a tiring breath.
And the food keeps spilling.

By the time he ended, he didn't ate much, so I offered to take his plate to the kitchen sink.

I was surprised somehow, when I, and that relative of mine, standing together side by side at the kitchen sink.

I opened the tap water, he hold out his hand.

And somehow the water flowed downwards. But never touched his wrinkled hand. The water didn't touch his wrinkled hand.

Because his hand is at a distance from the flowing water.

It was then I realised.

He couldn't see properly. He couldn't estimate distance because his eyesight is poor.

No wonder he keeps spilling his food.

Those silence moments when I realised something.

I observed him a while. He still speaks. He still wanted to be heard. But he couldn't take that cup of tea. So I took it for him, and passed to his hand.

Some hours later, when he wanted to go back, he couldn't find his shoes. Some cousins of mine pointed to him the shoes. I just went down, hold his feet, and helped him to wear his shoes.

He then spoke to my uncle of something, proudly, actually.
But I notice, he always stand back quite some distance while talking to my uncle.

My guess, might not be correct, old people sometimes are far sighted. They could not see things near to them.

It's time to say goodbye.

I hold his hand and together we walked to the car.

I opened the car door and helped him to get in.

He said thank you to me profusely. But I just kept my silence.

I just think it's better for me to be in silence because like most old people, they cannot see things near to them.

Anyhow, I think I end this post now and wrote the other stories later. Simply because it didn't fit this entry's title.

(Ross, Jones, Sirotto)

Let us have peace, let us have life
Let us escape the cruel night
Let us have time, let the sun shine
Let us beware the deadly sign

The day is coming
Armageddon's near
Inferno's coming
Can we survive the blitzkrieg?
The blitzkrieg
The blitzkrieg

Save us from fate, save us from hate
Save ourselves before it's too late
Come to our need, hear our plea
Save ourselves before the earth bleeds

The day is dawning
The time is near
Aliens calling
Can we survive the blitzkrieg?

Saturday, 14 October 2017

few lesson I learnt from 8th to 13th Oct 2017

Uberfall Hochkirch 
 Hyacinthe de La Pegna - 1760
Source : Wikipedia

There was this engineering project that I got involved for a couple of years, and somehow I resigned from that project almost a year ago.

Back then there was a new batch of staff coming in, and the new senior guy decided that I was not a competent person for the project. And so he told the main con, the client, the consultant, everybody, including myself on quite a daily basis, before he told my boss about the incompetence after I resigned.

I was pissed, but then, life has to go on, and since he's more experienced, and when the company already decided to play the dice on his part, you know you are somehow "not needed" and it's best that if you go gently and quietly so that the new team can move on progressively without hindrance.

In life, at my age, you don't linger on with sadness and melancholics. You just move on.

Adolph Menzel - 1856
Source : Wikipedia

When I was un-employed back then, I did few things and started some ventures.

There was this dearest friend back from my university days, somehow contacted me for a chat over a cup of tea.

When I told him, I was un-employed, (I didn't told him about the ventures, the business and CAD drafting works), suddenly he became a bit critical, and sometime after that, he went "invisible".

I knew he was online, because the things that he "likes" keep appearing on my FB timeline, but whatever I "hi!" or "hello", it turned into un-answered echoes.

Carl Rochling - 1900
Source : Wikipedia

Surprisingly, last week, I received a call from someone, from the previous project, for a chat over a cup of tea.

As I had bad experiences from previous chats over a cup of tea, I decided to cut straight into the points. No running around the bushes.

I just told him I was busy, and just state what he wants to know, and see if I can help.

He asked me "what is the actual pipe level installed at this bla bla area at this ___ level?"

I could just answered I don't know. That wouldn't be wrong, as I had resigned for almost a year from that project.

I asked him what pipe, and for which mechanical services. You don't simply ask a general question and expects people to give a direct correct answer. Or maybe he ask a general one first to see if I'm interested for the conversation or not,  whether it's worth buying cups of tea for this chat.

He then told me the pipe.

During the early phase of construction, mechanical installers usually installed this sleeves during the formwork phase.

Looking at this photo,

So sometimes this sleeves is installed, so that later these can be used either for the same size or smaller sizes pipe to run. And I kept the record of each, and I remembered it, simply because,

during the early phase of the project, when there weren't many staff and workers, I myself installed those sleeves, while the Bangladeshis formwork workers looked as they had to install additional rebars around the sleeves.

So I told that guy of the value to "what is the actual pipe level installed at this bla bla area at this ___ level?"

Somehow the conversation then got long and boring, and I do have my own things to tend with.

So along the line, I just told the best answer. "Sorry I don't know".

Not to criticize, but, in practice, a competent senior, should do a thorough paperwork and recording of documents. Otherwise, it will haunt everyone when problems arise later.

So taking these stories, plus the arrest of Zamihan and death of Kassim Ahmad,

Lesson 1 : Sardine tin-cans

We are all sardine tin-cans in a way. We have labels, or have labels forced upon us, but inside all of us are just all red.

People can just label you of they dislike you. And people got into shit after too much labelling others.

Based on the labelling, some sardine tin can got dented and thrown away.

We just live in the world of sardine tin can labels.

Lesson 2 : People from the past

People from the past, your dearest friends, schoolmates, university friends, colleagues, everybody changes.

Everybody changes with time.

The thing is, some of your dearest clumsy friends, might now hold senior important positions, or might have "jump over" the "social status". 

At the present moment, with their important present people, present aura, power, position, you can't help but maybe just became a pure embarrassment to them.

So, just let go.

 I have my own loved and important ones at the moment, treasure them. There's no need to cry melancholic shit over those who no longer treat you the same. 

In summary, you got your own life, they got theirs, so live it.

Lesson 3 : Silence might be the best mercy, given onto you.

Previously, when somebody died, people will just give respect.

Nowadays, it can't be helped, that when someone died, people might just be "cynical" about it.

And so, even dead ones, can't escape from shitty criticism and bad mouthing, or as Lesson 1 says, sardine tin can labelling.

Hence I think, if you're forgotten or not needed or heeded, when people doesn't care much, actually then there's no ill speak to you, and it might be that blissful mercy blessed upon you.

You don't have to feel ill over those ill words. Just find peace with your loved ones and God.

Poppy fields

Anyhow I go for an upbeat song, about people, life and labelling haha.
Just that sometimes people who resort to labelling are like the kinds of girls, sung in this song.

Street's like a jungle
So call the police
Following the herd
Down to Greece
On holiday
Love in the nineties
Is paranoid
On sunny beaches
Take your chances
Looking for

Chorus /:
Girls who are boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys
Always should be someone you really love

Avoiding all work
Because there's none available
Like battery thinkers
Count your thoughts
On one-two-three-four-five fingers
Nothing is wasted
Only reproduced
You get nasty blisters
Du bist sehr schan
But we haven't been introduced

Monday, 9 October 2017

some belief in cari makan

Note : Cari makan is Malay for earning a living

I write this, not only because of the "fake dentist" issue, but also reminiscing on some life events.

On 2009, when I came back after working in Dubai for several years, ending up un-employed in Malaysia for few months, oh of course I could not forget what critical words was spoken to me by those people I thought dearest.

"Kau pergi Dubai masa kau belum matang lagi, tu la pasal" (You went there because you were still immature, that's why).

Years later, when I have worked few years in construction in Malaysia, there was this girl whom I liked, and somehow our family knew of each other.

So sometimes, that girl and I Whatsapp on personal matters, and sometimes I showed her my "working place", the construction areas and all.

Her father gave the best appreciative remark that made me realised this relation will not work well.

"Pakcik tengok kau ni pandai tapi bodoh, anak saudara pakcik pun kerja engineer kat kilang, ok je duduk dalam aircond buat kerja, kau ni macam Bangla kerja je pakcik tengok".

In summary, I just translate that her father thinks I works like those Bangladeshis when I can earn a good living working in air-conditioned office.

I find peace in all these critical genius comments, after a belief I found in three books.

Adam Smith - Wealth Of Nations.
Imam Ghazali - Ihya Ulumiddin
Thoreau - Walden.

Adam Smith says in the Chapter Ten  : Of Wages and Profit in the Different Employments of Labour and Stock

Fourthly, The wages of labour vary according to the small or great trust which must be reposed in the workmen.

The wages of goldsmiths and jewellers are every-where superior to those of many other workmen, not only of equal, but of much superior ingenuity; on account of the precious materials with which they are intrusted.

We trust our health to the physician; our fortune and sometimes our life and reputation to the lawyer and attorney. Such confidence could not safely be reposed in people of a very mean or low condition. Their reward must be such, therefore, as may give them that rank in the society which so important a trust requires. The long time and the great expence which must be laid out in their education, when combined with this circumstance, necessarily enhance still further the price of their labour."

Imam Ghazali discusses occupation and economic in the Chapter of Ter-celanya Dunia, but if you read through, the concept is not discussed in Islamic religionistic way, but more logical approach, which he discussed the needs of man, why man need to socialise and to be govern, all in all this is done by the demands of economic necessity.

Imam Ghazali's approach in Ihya, for me it's quite the same theme as Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations logic and methodic approach. Only after discussing thoroughly this, that Imam Ghazali asks the students to know the reasons why, and hence not to be to absorbed with the worldly matters.

Thoreau in Walden, also resonates the same theme.

Go read it. Don't ask and debate if you didn't because it\ll be a waste of time.

In summary, I believe, free your mind from comparing with others about success. 

Success is objective.

Man, as age and time flows by, is somehow limited, whether in strength, genius, time, effort, opportunity. etc.

So one does best by what he have rather than what he insist.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

reminiscence and competitions

1.Too much Information - 00:00 
2.Ordinary World - 4:59 

6.Come Undone - 21:56 
7.Breath after Breath - 26:37 

 9.Femme Fatale - 37:13 

 11.Shelter - 46:58 

 13.Sin of the City - 55:50 

 17.Come Undone" (12" mix - Comin' Together) - 1:16:35 
 18.Ordinary World" (acoustic version) - 1:24:00 
19.Too Much Information" (David Richards 12" mix) - 1:29:11

(Note : I only highlighted my favourite tracks from this album)

A. Men are born to compete

Last week, I had this feverish cold for few days. And honestly, I missed my intake of medication for hypertension and diabetes, as I just started working at a new company.

Last Friday, asthma attack, and out of a sudden, I coughed heavily and vomitted green coloured phlegms. I guess my new boss was so disgusted looking at it, that he asked me to excuse myself from work and get proper treatment.

Went back quite late as I was resting at some place before I arrived at my house, hence wife is already at home back from work. We directly went to Hospital Sungai Buloh.

As for always, since there's quite many experience going to hospital, whether private or Government run hospital, there will always be sometime that you will have to wait. A long wait.

Based on this knowledge, I will usually bring along books, the thick-kind of book, sometimes I bring one of the "jilid" of the 7 "jilid" of Ihya Ulumiddin. (Religion book is a common thing to be read when you are sick, as you are at this stage, very honest and very dependent on God).

Not that day, I brought along a book on German Renaissance.

Arrived at the asthma room at the hospital,. the Medic Officer checked the pulse and blood pressure reading before starting the nebulizer treatment. 

As I opened my thick book to start reading, I was surprised when the Medic Officer arrived on a second time, with a wheelchair.

Shit, my blood pressure reading was 165/112. At any time, there's this risk of Stroke or TIA due to that high reading.

I was brought to a Yellow Zone at Emergency Ward of Hospital Sungai Buloh. For a second time, this year, what an achievement.

I was strategically located besides high blood pressure reading patients. A very friendly talkative 30-40 year old Malay "abang" and beside him, an old Indian man.

I saw them very talkative, and quite jovial too. They asked questions to me, which I replied with short messages. I wasn't feeling very well for this kind of "forum". I'm not breathing well, some more to reply to long talks about sickness, hospitals.

The "abang" told me I shouldn't worry, because his blood pressure is 200 something that time. He was quite proud when he told me, on a normal day, he could easily get MC from any doctor.

He seems so proud of his achievements that I had to give a proper head nodding movement, minimumly, to indicate my respect of his "achievements".

The Indian man told me of his heart condition, his previous history of heart.

Hence, I realised, this forum is a competition of "he is macho is the the one who is the sickest yet the presevered of them all". 

Thank god, my asthma condition doesn't permit me to join the forum. The doctor and the Medic officer then proceed to give asthma nebuliser, while monitoring the blood pressure. 

So with that oxygen mask in my face. I read about the rise of Albert Krupp steel business, supplying cannons to Otto Von Bismarck's war to unite Prussia, all while my fellow bedmates continuing their forum of history lesson of blood pressure and sickness.

The malay "abang" then asked the nurse to go to toilet. Somehow they let him go, and after 20 minutes, a commotion among the nurse and the doctor happens, on why the "abang" disappears.

The Public Announcement speaker in the hospital started mentioning the Malay abang to come back to his bed.

The Malay abang smells of cigarrete when he came back.

I was in the Yellow zone for 2 hours plus some minutes. with two nebulizing session, with my blood pressure around 140/90 range.

One personal lesson, is, don't cheat to your doctor. I just told truthfully, that my medication is 8mg of Covapril daily, 1000mg of metformin twice, daily and 80mg of glicazide daily. And I might have skipped taking it because I was not disciplined in my diet.

Because, nationwide, my hospital record is there, the doctor knows what medication they gave and whether I followed it. Thank god, when the doctor checked my sugar reading, it was 9. hence the doctor believed that I can learn to take this medication thing more seriously.

So I was let go early.

The Indian guy couldn't believe that I was let go early, he shouted "ma-ci-bai" (profanities in Cantonese) then started criticising hospitals generally.

He must've felt that it is not fair. The thing is, I believe, it is not a sport or a competition that it has to be fair in the first place.

B. Compete and compete, so that you not end up a loser

The news of that fake "doctor-dentist" who was bailed-up at RM70k by some MGO must have appalled Malaysians.

and her reply pissed many people off.

Somehow, the story is now being turned into a Robin Hood kind of theme.

The lady, poor family, had to become breadwinner,  had to do something, but then people conspired against her, and now when she is bailed, it is a win. the conspirator lose.

So what is right and wrong, can somehow be portrayed as a competition of an underdog going against companies or establishments.

Put religion and some under-dog theme and anything can happen.

That's why there are flat-earthers in Malaysia. Deep inside, the fuel was belief and competition.

The answer to this all can be found in this video Psychology: Defense Mechanisms & Rationalization: "Facing Reality" 1954

Note Update 8 October 2017 :
In a recent video, I understood that the 70k money was from a motorcyclist gang called Dragon76.
Somehow they sympathise with her"fake dentist" father, and did fund collection for her father. Her father was personal friends with these guys.
The money was not from PPIM.

Only that, they didn't expect the girl to come out with that video, and for PPIM to come out with a statement.

C. Reminiscence

So yesterday and today, the fever was still there. So I remembered some nice warm memories in my life, to try make things more positive.

And I remembered Duran Duran Wedding Album, released in 1993.

I was 11 years old. Back then, my mom had this credit card difficulties, that she had to use big portion of her salary to pay off the cards.

So, in order to support the family and cover the loss income, my father, who was a general clerk at UM then, had to do a part time job at night working at a petrol station.

The time was quite tense, as my father felt tired and pressured. Mom was feeling guilty and everyone doesn't feel nice when we're together.

So each people in the family treasure their personal time. For Mom, she usually rent Hindustan videos and watch it after dinner by herself until it was sleeping time. 

Me, I was into listening to music in the radio, and I was find by this Ordinary World song by Duran Duran. One day, I recorded this on a casette tape when the song was played on radio.

I played this on my mom's car-radio everytime she sent me to school around 6.30am.

Sometime later, she bought me a Walkman with this Duran Duran Wedding Album.
Surprisingly, the album released in Malaysia, doesn't have this acoustic track, nevertheless, being 11 years old, I was into the record.

I was lucky when I got good result, and I got into the special class in Standard 6. My mom then never hesitates buying whatever record I wanted since.

I don't know, sometimes, I tend to block people or personal problems and just listens to songs. 
Maybe it is my defense mechanism after all.

Thursday, 5 October 2017

gear up

This week started off with local Malaysia news of Syed Saddiq rejecting Oxford offer, and saying he did it because he wants to save Malaysia (this guy is involved in politics)

For me, I look at this with a different view, which doesn't involve politics or gimmics.

If you searched the Oxford University web for the info on Master of Public Policy, you will understand 1 thing, it is a 1-year coursework based Master programme.
And it could not be progressed into a Doctorate study, a.k.a. PHD.

If you checked about Public Policy, if you completed the course, actually the job scope that you gonna get are posts in the Government agencies or its think-tanks. There's no demand in the private sector for that, unless, if Saddiq wants to write a critique book on Malaysia government policies.

When I mentioned this in the Social Media, people are just focused on Saddiq being "Sad-Dick", and nothing else. The fella himself was giving immature remarks himself by going political about it; so I guess I was just stupid.

But then, I think, I pitied the Malaysians in the social media, they got so emotioned, and jock-happy seeing someone making fool out of himself, that they couldn't think more than making fun with Sad-Dick jokes, for days.

And when in the same day, there was this video, I just gave up. I give up on Malaysia and its people after I saw this. Whether you oppose the government or not.

We just could not escape our mind to be free from all this politicking and think something beyond, something that is at least productive to our life.

And so, I told myself, gear up.

Forget about the conditions, others small minded talk, just gear up and improve yourself.

And have some purpose in your life, or do something that you like, without caring much about what others think or "likes".

I'm not a great guitarist, I just play for fun. And not only that, I watch these awesome guitar videos because I want my playing to be better, not for anybody else, but just for myself.

And excerpt from the link above:-

Here’s what I’ve always observed: The happiest people I’ve known had some kind of side project to make themselves and colleagues happy. 

Whether it was mentoring new employees, helping to beta test new software, or organizing after-work football games. 

They weren’t getting paid to do these extra things. 

But it sure made them happy.

If you read Malaysia Today (RPK writings), I kinda pity all these political bloggers.

RPK is 67 years old, his daughter is now trying to make into politics, and you know what, on that Syed Saddiq's story, he had to post 2 entries. 

For me, it's not "elegant" for RPK stature, he's that old and previously respected, yet have to give so much attention to that so called "immature" guy.

That's sometimes the price of being too political. You ceased to become a respected idea and become a cheap commodity instead.

My latest interest :-

1. Computering

You have to follow the sequence.

and then you can follow this playlist

This video show how they built the logic gates AND, OR, NOT, NAND, NOR, EXOR and EXNOR into the Integrated Circuits. 

This is more on the hardware programming.

this Youtube user Ben Eateractually programmed the Fibonacci found in the video "Comparing C to machine language" to his breadboard computer he built, described in the Youtube playlist. 
Pretty awesome.

I graduated in Mechanical Engineering, so learning all this computering things, even though it might be basic to some, it felt awesome.