Wednesday, 22 February 2017

the threat is real

I write this because I felt disturbed.

First, about Malaysians, and what I read here.

It seems that whatever happens in Malaysia, it will somehow will be twisted into polemic of us versus them.

Since politics gains advantage by it, authority won't take action yet people will feel emotionally fired by it.

My point is, why create an un-necessary threat in your head?

Second, events on a personal scale.

I found out that too many people I knew, suffers from

You fail in life or whatever, that's ok because that's what life is. But building blocks of wall to people or stonewalling, and naming it under disguise of religion, tasawuf or whatsoever, (oh I got to protect my thoughts from this because it somehow disturbs my ibadat), for me, is quite prospetrous.

You spend your full effort with something you like or whatever, that's ok because that's what life is. But complaining and bitching about it, blaming with generalisation, for me, is just insecurity.
There are other people who are better than you at art or writing, didn't get recognition yet felt cool about it because of pure passion.

You fail in life or whatever, that's ok because that's what life is. But building blocks to your own bloody family, with endless blaming and playing victim, for me, is just pure bollocks.

You spend your full effort subtly trying to win a lovely girl's heart, that's ok because that's what life is. But feeling that her other friends as a threat, is just insecurity.
Confidence is the key to win your girl, not some shit insecurity in your mind.

My overall point is, why create an un-necessary threat in your head?  Are you so paranoid enough that you drive other people, especially to those who care, to become threat in your head?

Anyhow, the best thing to act upon this is just forget and ignore.
It's not worth it.

I think in the previous post I've mentioned about a friend who is now a senior lecturer in UM.
There's also some friends, one who got Ir and is now in Korea, another friend who still in the oil and gas line.

Now now, I'm not bragging, because it's not my success, it's theirs. To brag about it is the same as that nude emperor who being told that he's wearing colorful fabulous clothes.

My idea is that, even though Malaysia is shit, there are people, whom I knew at least, manage to carve their own greatness and to be really good in what  they do.

So, don't fill your life with these small shit things, feel big about life, and remember, our life is really too short to feel threatened from others, unless you are being robbed or being pointed by a gun on your face.

To fill your life with threats of minor issues, small minded issues is just despair, oh dear. It's just pure bollocks.

sense of identity, pride and purpose

I read Facebook like some sort of religion nowadays I guess. Any how, lots of people, lots of ideas, lots of pictures and graphics, etc., it's a network of people.

One of the thing I read was about adolescence and their coming of age.

Anyhow there were something that I not agree with what I read, but I don't want to go into detail or criticise it because it is un-necessary and quite a waste of time to describe the actual story behind this.


I'm married...and somehow along the line, I might have kids of my own.

When I saw my Facebook today, I have one question lingering in my head.

What sort of sense of identity or sense of pride will I teach to my children?

As a fake Malay, I think it's hard but it's essential, to let my kid know of his sense of identity, pride and purpose.

I don't want my kid to be like those lost kids who played bicycles at 3.30am just to prove his existence, or those mat rempit that only think of fun but no purpose.

Whether my kid will turn out male or female, I want my kid to somehow learn this.

傲氣傲笑萬重浪 /
ngou6 hei3 ngou6 siu3 maan6 cung5 long6
defiantly laughing at ten thousand waves (= trials and tribulations)

  jit6 hyut3 jit6 sing1 hung4 jat6 gwong1
with righteous ardour burning hotter than the sun

膽似鐵打 / 骨似精鋼
daam2 ci5 tit3 da1 / gwat1 ci5 zing1 gong1
gall (=courage) forged of iron / bones (=character) of steel

胸襟百千丈  眼光萬里長
hung1 kam1 baak3 cin1 zoeng6    ngaan5 gwong1 maan6 leoi5 coeng4
broad-minded and far-sighted

誓奮發自強 做好漢
sai6 fan5 faat3 zi6 koeng4 zou6 hou2 hon3
I vow to exert myself to strive to be a hero 

做個好漢子 每天要自強
zou6 go3 hou2 hon3 zi2 mui5 tin1 jiu1 zi6 koeng4
to be a great hero, one must exert oneself everyday

熱血男子 熱勝紅日光
jit6 hyut3 naam4 zi2 jit6 sing1 hung4 jat6 gwong1
the zeal of a man burns hotter than the sun

*讓海天為我聚能量 / 去開天闢地
     joeng6 hoi2 tin1 wai4 ngo5 zeoi6 nang4 loeng4 heoi3 hoi1 tin1 pik1 dei6
    I gather the power of the skies and the seas / to separate heaven and earth

wai4 ngo5 lei5 soeng2 heoi3 cong2
that I might charge towards my ideals

hon3 bik1 bo1 gou1 zong3
look at the blue waves high and mighty,

jau6 hon3 bik1 hung1 gwong2 fut3 hou6 hei3 joeng4
and also at the blue skies broad and wide raising my spirit

gei3 si6 naam4 ji4 dong1 zi6 koeng4
as a man of determination

昂步挺胸大家作棟樑 做好漢
ngong4 bou6 ting5 hung1 daai6 ga1 zok3 dung3 loeng4 zou6 hou2 hon3
striding boldly with one's chest out, everyone should be a great man
(like beams holding up the nation)

用我百點熱 耀出千分光
jung6 ngo5 baak3 dim2 jit6 jiu6 ceot1 cin1 fan1 gwong1
use me to ignite a hundred spirits, shining with a thousand rays

做個好漢子 / 熱血熱腸熱 / 熱勝紅日光
zou6 go3 hou2 hon3 zi2 jit6 hyut3 jit6 coeng4 jit6 jit6 sing1 hung4 jat6 gwong1
to be a great hero / one's zeal must burn with ardour / brighter than the red sun

In the same time, I knew this two people and somehow reading this, inspires me.

Somehow at some point of my life, I knew them and they knew me. 

And today I found out that they got their PHD Doctorates and become lecturers (senior lecturers some-more) at UM Mechanical Dept which I was a student quite some time ago.

But then I knew I would just stay quiet and make myself better. 

Monday, 20 February 2017


κίνησις  is pronounced as kinesis, which means movement.

Some things I've learnt.

1. Before making statement, no matter how good your point is, learn the situations, intentions and conditions behind it.

I learnt this lesson yesterday.

Before I explain the story behind it, I would like to include something I learnt quite sometime ago and were useful when I worked in the construction line before, which is :-

"I solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that I will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

That covers three types of lies which is:-
1. the outward lie (telling the truth)
2. Omission of facts. (overall truth without omission)
3. Deviation from facts. (sometimes people twist story away, the "twist" itself might be true, but it is told to deviate from the truth)

And so as the story goes, I've chatted with some people online yesterday night.

There were numerous discussion online, one of it was the discussion about the recent RUU355, or so called the Islamic Hudud Law Proposal by the Malaysian Islamic Party (PAS), and their recent gathering at KL last Saturday.

And so a guy, went and share his points. Somehow further along the discussion, I saw some sort of "deviation" at his argument.

The more the discussion goes, the more heated the argument became, that somehow made me suspect something.

As usual, I made my "chill bro, this is not Asian parlimentary debate show" and just chit chat with this guy.

Turns out, he was retrenched from his company few weeks ago, and he's now feeling the pinch of the dire financial straits.

He was not really angry about the Islamic law, he was pissed off with what he saw as social in-justice, and he thought that upholding Moral Law is just shit if the poor still being poor, the rich becoming more richer. Anyhow this pissed off-ness is heightened by his emotion of being retrenched.

Now, since I know this, I didn't try to be smart-ass I was, before I knew his condition/intention. Other people were just putting forth their arguments, some were labelling, some put forth their this and thats.

I knew he was just grieving, and he's actually letting off his frustration by making a point in the Facebook of this and that, when in actual, he was just grieving.

I felt stupid, with my clever comments, and I didn't offer anything to soothe his mind, as I think, silence is better sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder why people say some things in the Net.

For me, Facebook is for people I felt dear with. And so FB is just for me to make jokes, feel happy, sometimes share photos or songs. Sometimes I made opinion-statements but usually I deleted them, with the thought that I don't want those dear people to have heavy thoughts, it's just moments to enjoy with each other.

Then there are people who made page for "likes". There are also people who want to share information, their clever-ness, ideas, photos, military stuff (yeah I like this), Lego photos and videos (I liked this too) and numerous reasons.

And there are million pages and billions of people who had ideas and critics about things that they wrote an essay on their Pagebook page.

My idea is, sometimes, before you start throwing your comments, it's good for you to learn the conditions or the intentions behind it.

Most of the time, your comments are not needed. You either re-inforce other people's or it will just end up in an endless tiring debate.

2. Happiness is an active choice Part 1.

I have a female friend in Facebook that felt offended by a certain statement, which is originated from Amran Fans troll page, about single woman availability is seen being more available if their other female friends got married earlier in great numbers.

And she wrote angrily about it. She wrote that those statement as being offensive.

But as I read her post, I felt what she wrote as "funny" because that statement came from a Joke Troll FB page, and it is written in general.

If something is written in general, and you reacted about it, didn't you realised that you somehow made that statement to affect your life?  And these young generation full of shit-trolls would somehow bully you more.

I think what most elegant women would do is not only ignore it, but try to be miles apart from that statement.

I remembered of my school days when I got bullied.
There was one asshole who likes to take advantage of me, that one day I punched that fella's face, his nose bleeds, my mom had to pay to his mom a new spectacles.

Then somehow after that, I'm struggling with my study, then when when we saw each other, I was too tired and showed my stupid face.

A stupid face is something interesting to bullies. But as he joked and trolled, I was just too tired to react.

Then somehow the bullying from that fella stops.

Because he lost interest as I showed no interest.

Back to my friend there, eventually I never told her what I thought. If she can be offended from someone that doesn't knew her, what more if words from her known friends.

I'm married, and married guys (should) knew how to stay quiet.

Furthermore, I don't preach nowadays, I felt it is effort-consuming.

Anyhow, the short story of this is, actually rather than being pissed off and grumbling like kids being bullied, you can actually choose :- who your friends and acquaintance and what you read.

Be happy guys. Don't mess your happiness by those stupid shit you found in the Net.

For example, you might notice the blog Malaysia Today is no longer in the list "Websites & Blogs I Follow".

Even though I find RPK writings interesting, my reading frequency of that blog decrease nowadays because I knew, and he himself admitted that he is a paid writer.

No matter how interesting his writing is, it is biased. It is written to create certain perception for the political purpose.

Some of my friends were Facebook friends with Sara, RPK's daughters, but I knew some of my friends no longer "friends" with her.

First, they are Malays, so there's no question about Chinese DAP or those perception shit he's trying to create.

It just that, we are just too tired of the politic news and discussions, when in reality, those words discussed rarely improves our life, and we nowadays find that living in KL is a struggle.

We are tired.

And from my tired-ness, I just made an active choice, to rather read something else in the Net.

3.Happiness is an active choice Part 2.

And another way to be happy is to be careful with what you say.

This video is truly heart-breaking to me.

One of the reason I close down the comment section at this blog years ago.

No one might ever know that one's words, debates, is hurtful.

People have minds of their own, whether about RUU355 or Islam or this or that or whatever. Be cool to disagree.

What I can see in the social media is the same heart-break I saw at the video above. People saying darndest things just to make the best winnable statement with a bus load of Likes.

Does it feel happy and peaceful?

 "Stop being such a small minded idiot and think about the words that coming out from your mouth. Because the world's not like what you think it is".

4. A Walk in the Forest

This idea is like that of Islamic sufism or tasawuf or whatever.

Did you ever go to the rural areas? Either in Malaysia or US or wherever.
Especially areas near the forest.

I thought of something, that those folks who lives in the rural, the desolate ones, most of the time those folks seems to be the quiet type.

Like those natives living in the forest.

If you walked in the forest, you try to be as quiet as possible.

You walked and observe. You want to enjoy the scenery, feel the atmosphere, the eerie-ness, the soothe-ness. etc.

And you try to live your trace as little as possible.

What if we treat our life, as if we are walking into a forest?

What if, this live is just an adventure trolling in the forest?

We wouldn't be noisy much. We might be calmer, just enjoying the the moments, the refraction and reflection of a water pool, the wet rainy smell of grass.

When danger creeps in, as we are afraid of the animals that might endangered us as they themselves feel endangered with our presence, we will be more quite especially if we knew we are there alone.

We scream usually for gettting help, especially if there are people presence. And when in bloody pain that we psychologically scream to "let all the pain out".

We are usually noisy due to the knowledge that people might listen to us.
There'll be people listening.

Some days ago , I read Ihya Ulumiddin that I posted this.

The idea is if you put efforts to win people's heart, it will be an endless journey, because there will always be someone who dislikes you.

Hence, it is best just to treat this life just as a walk in the forest.

You just observe, and enjoy mother-nature as it is. No need to go noisy. No need to preach whatever. No drama queens or drama kings.

In city life, social media, there is this need wanting to be known. The need for your existence to be approved by others.

But if you are alone in the forest, you are just glad to be alive. That breath of yours is sufficient proof that you exist.

I think what I write above is,. No. 1 easier said than done, and No. 2 the writing above doesn't clearly describe what I think, ie. incomplete. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.


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This is taken from

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15 FEBRUARI 2017

There are some of my friends who questioned me whether I still read Tukartiub.
I told them yes I do, albeit with less frequency.

I think even though I felt that Tukartiub a.k.a Hishamuddin Rais is someone that I mostly disagree, since he seems to look down on Islam, and I really felt he is shit about his opinion of Kajang Move years ago, 
this DJKL thing is a good thing to support so here it is.

I am that sort of person, whom, even though I don't like you, but if there's something good about it, then I will spread the words on that goodness.

I learn lots of mathematics stuff from NJ Wildberger from University of South Wales
because it is good.
Since I can learn from a non-Muslim, I can also learn from other people as well regardless of their religion or morale value or what-so-ever.

The same thing about Malaysia Today too.

Foo Fighters - Friend of a Friend

Dave Grohl Pocketwatch Demo - Friend of a Friend

He needs a quiet room
With a lock to keep him in
Its just a quiet room
And he's there

He plays an old guitar
With a coin found by the phone
It was his friends guitar
That he played
Hmm mmm mmm

He's never been in love
But he knows just what love is
He says never mind
And no one speaks
He thinks he drinks too much
Cause when he tells his two best friends
I think I drink too much

No one speaks
No one speaks
No one speaks
Hmm hmm mmm mmm mmm hmm hmm mmm

He plays an old guitar
With a coin found by the phone
It was his friends guitar
That he played
When he plays
No one speaks
No one speaks
And he plays
No one speaks

Source : Google Image search of the movie Charade (1963)

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

14 Feb 2017 (updated with shin chan comics)

So today's Valentine Day.

For my 1-year old wedding.

And for people who ask us, of when will my wife and I going to have kids.

Nirvana - Breed

I don't care......Care if it's old
I don't mind .....Mind, don't have a mind
Get away .........Away, away from your home
I'm afraid .........Afraid, afraid of a ghost

Even if you have
Even if you need
I don't mean to stare
We don't have to breed
We could plant a house
We could build a tree
I don't even care
We could have all three
She said....

Music video Peforming Breed by Nirvana at MTV Live and Loud Seattle, WA - 1993

Nirvana - Negative Creep - Live (FANTASTIC)

Only after I got married that I realised what is the actual meaning Negative Creep, and why it have that chorus. Oh.
Oh no, it's not for kids to know.

Anyhow here's a more relax slow-moving tune for the romantic evening.

Skid Row - Into Another

Slowly I heal the love that's found its way
Onto another path in times of change
Crossing a bridge unknown
Hoping our strength will hold
Should they both let go then let me lay
.....Let me lay

Show me a sign
To a light that shines
One direction into another
Sheltered peace of mind

Somewhere I lost a piece of memory
Somehow I know my legs will carry me
Searching for circles end
Hoping the wounds will mend
Should this scar, then it was meant to be

And here's a funny comic which I used to read during my teenage years.


Sunday, 5 February 2017


 Note : I think I screwed up on the settings on this blog. I wanted it to look cool in my eyes, but it makes the text difficult to read due to the color contrast. I'm sorry for this. But it's a good predicament in a way that I'm now learning HTML and CSS in order to improve this.

Patton Speech in the video, from the movie Patton, was based on a speech that General Patton gave on 1944 to Third Army prior to Overlord Operation (landing on Normandy)

Be Seated

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans, traditionally, love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle.

When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time.

Now, I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards. We're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken-out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything -- except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose, and we're gonna kick him in the ass. We're gonna kick the hell out of him all the time, and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose!

Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home, and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, "What did you do in the great World War II?" -- you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere.

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
-George Patton

And so the day before, my wife and I went to my mom's house. We had a lovely lunch and dinner, and our pleasant talks.

One of the topics is about President Trump.

So I told my mom something like this.

Most news, and stories in the Net that you hear and saw, it comes from the media, and these media are located in the urban.

Hence, despite of all the negative impressions on Trump of the media, we tend to forget that these impression are voices of the urban people, and does not reflect the rural people which forms the majority of the USA.

It's the same with Malaysia. Those news, online or offline, are actually from the people living in the urban and might not reflect the majority of the people.

That is number 1.

Number 2 is, everybody is struggling. Whether Malaysia or US, most people are actually struggling economically. Due to slow-trend of oil demand/supply, the Syrian war, the economy just took a massive hit.

And so, when people are struggling, what will they do?

Do they listen to obnoxious long winded talks explaining this and that?

Nope. They just want things to be better.

Not only that, people want to protect what they have. There'll be elements of protectionism and invidualism driven by people's instinct to survive.

So there's no need to be surprised when UK people voted for Brexit. It's the idea of being UK first.

And there's no need to be surprised when US voted Trump and decided to build a wall and protect themselves.

Even in the Net, the Russian people like to boast of their current military power. The thing is when you feel great, it gives you some sort of pride and identity belonging.

No amount of liberal ideas and preaching will change people especially when people are struggling.

If you got million of liberating ideas but you don't have purchasing power,
and in the same time, someone less educated makes more money than you,
one can't help but feel stupid, right?

And your liberal reaching will make the people feel more stupid.

All of the real heroes are not storybook combat fighters, either. Every single man in this Army plays a vital role. Don't ever let up. Don't ever think that your job is unimportant. Every man has a job to do and he must do it. Every man is a vital link in the great chain. - George Patton

If you understand it in this view, then at least we can understand of Trump and Make America Great Again.

Philip Zimbardo, famous for his Stanford Prison Experiment,

explains his thoughts on why boys are falling in developed and developing countries.
What I seen in my neighbourhoods, is that boys are fighting to be cool rather than be great.

That's why we lack of great men.

And why most women stayed single. Lack of good men.

One thing I learnt from the Philip Zimbardo video earlier, is to make sure to have family dinner together, somehow that's one of way you can instill values to kids.

We need to have that sense of identity and that hunger to become great.

Yeah it's also a lesson of previous Arsenal defeats. The players just doesn't have that hunger and mental strength on situations that matter.

Carcass - Firm Hand - guitar cover by 19690910kei


One has to know that the ticket prices at Arsenal's Emirates Stadium are the highest in UK. A single match ticket is about £97 pound, or RM553 Malaysian ringgit, per match.

And yet, for every season, Arsenal fans are taken for granted.

Then, you realised. It no longer became a passionate football team, it became a business entity. 

There's a big difference with a mediocre team being mediocre and a big team become mediocre.

It's a disappointment, when a club you loved fails. But when the quality was just too different, as different as boys to men, then where is the pride?

It has became a business entity.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017


First, the petrol price increase.

Then, Arsenal lost 1-2 to Watford.

Today, felt uneasy. Did check-up at Clinic and found my blood pressure reading is 160/90.

Now on Avevasc 10mg daily intake.
So now I'm trying to cool my mind by looking at Impressionism drawings by Paul Gauguin (1848-`1903).

This is a nice reading.

I truly believe in this.

I realised that why Trump wins and becomes President.

It is because of mental fatigue, the same fatigue Arsenal has.

People are harping on social media, debating here and there, fighting with words and so, that somehow by the end of the day, people got mentally tired.

It is because arguments and talks are numerous, yet their socio-economic rarely change, and they stumble on the same bullshit all over again. 

So when the election comes, despite of all the talk and debates, people are just tired that :-
1. they just wanted change.
2.,they just choose the most extreme
3. They just choose stability. In this case, Trump offers US people protection of their jobs and from outsiders.

And so, I think people would still vote the current Barisan Nasional in the next coming election even though they hated Prime Minister Najib. If Najib is clever, he will downplay himself and focus on the party image or the ruling BN coalition image.

The point starts at 8:15.

Yes, Bill Maher has a negative perception on Islam or Muslims, I do not agree with his opinion on that, but I do agree on this.

One thing I learn is that you might not agree with someone, but you can take what is good from them.

Even though that fella is Anti-Islam or whatever.

For me, I just believe in "buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih" when it comes to people. It translates to something that means filter out the negatives and take the good ones.

And I think Bill Maher is right about this. There's too much talk and debates that somehow diverts the people's attention towards making life better.

Below : a cool video about Russian Tank T-90

Anyhow, 31 January was the birthday of Jeff Hannemann of Slayer.

I kinda liked his personality. And he's cool.

Anyhow, in the end, I have this "don't give a damn, so what" attitude and just enjoy Slayer!