Thursday, 8 December 2016

sunshine in the bedroom

I wanted to write something, but seems overpowered by my emotions, with episodes of life's ups and downs.

I'm no longer working from last November.

I worked back the relationship with my brother.

And the three of us (the 3rd person is my mom) are finally "emotionally" together.


From last November, there's this telenovela "7 Hari Mencintaiku" which my wife love to watch tremendously. Either she admire the actress Siti Saleha cuteness with her cruel arrogant attitude in the story, or maybe my wife has a secret crush on Shukry Yahya the main actor, or enamored with the patience of his character.

I'll be honest.

The first 3-4 episodes, I hated it too much that I locked myself in the room, and told my wife I'm busy with my prayers 
(This telenovella had the unfortunate timing of being aired on Maghrib, ie 7pm, where pious Muslim guys are usually at the Mosque) 

Then I realised, that the hate is actually because I'm traumatised by some shit that happened to my family before, ie. divorce.

I wouldn't tell you the overall story of us. Nevertheless, it is suffice to say, it had a big impact in me even though I didn't think much about it when it was happpening back then.

I realised I was emotionally heated up whenever the characters in the 7 Hari Mencintaiku, whether the Mak Leha or whoever, ask both the wife and husband to get divorced and start their own life.

I was emotional. Yet I couldn't cry because I couldn't understand why I'm so riled up.

I was in heavy thoughts while watching Buletin Utama (the news that was aired after the telenovela) about me getting riled up, that I didn't give a damn about the recent hu-ha's in my beloved country.

No matter what the news said in its sugar-coated language, the economy is in bad shape, people are feeling the pinch, and they don't give a shit much about political allegiance. And being preached every day about the political correctness and the wrong ways of the opposition every minute, made us deaf.

It made me deaf though, empowered by my thoughts of getting riled up by 7 Hari Mencintaiku.

While watching the propaganda machineries, I finally thought that actually, even though I'm not bothered by the divorce or the shit episodes of it, 

I was truly hurt by it.

And the telenovela is just the same as the propaganda machineries, telling me again and again of what I'm hurt with.

Since I'm not working, I visited my Mom few times, and my brother few times.


Since my wife visits her family in Cheras weekly, I went to visit and slept at my brother's place when she made the visit.

My brother and I talked together, played music together and prayed together, and spent time with our Mother whenever possible.

And this two tracks is what I felt about this.

"Son Of A Gun"
(originally by The Vaselines)

Up up up and down
Turn turn turnaround
Round round roundabout
And over again
Gun gun son of a gun
You are the only one
Makes any difference what I say

The sun shines in the bedroom
When we play
The raining always starts
When you go away
I wish you guys the same happiness I felt now. Thanks.

Photo Source : Google