before Christmas, I was sick.
few times juga pergi Hospital Sungai Buloh.
then Christmas, or malam Christmas, I forgot the exact moment,
aku macam ada bergaduh dengan orang di FB. but
I spoke my words then just left.
The people yang aku macam argue ni, are what I termed as "those who shovelled shit in Lousiana".
The exact term, aku ambik from that famous speech from General Patton to the Third Army.
Then there's one thing you men will be able to say when this war is over and you get back home. Thirty years from now when you're sitting by your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks, 'What did you do in the great World War Two?'
You won't have to cough and say, 'Well, your granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.'
No sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say 'Son, your granddaddy rode with the great Third Army and a son-of-a-goddamned-bitch named George Patton!'
Ada seorang dua kawan se-universiti aku, yang mana aku "discriminate", ie. aku ignore dan block these people without prejudice, despite being friends in the past.
These people have the same habit, cakap sembang besar with, endless critics about other people, and one thing, diorang ni suka troll dan "bakar line", criticise in order provoke people, just to jest people's action.
Selalunya diorang akan kutuk party politics, NGO, or those yang diorang rasa "buat benda poyo".
But, they themselves pun tak ada apa contribute untuk wellbeing of society. Nein. Zilch.
Cakap kutuk orang, provoke bakar line, dapat like dan gelak2 orang, lepas tu sambung layan booze atau ganja atau whatever shit.
For me la, orang PAS yang orang kutuk2, well, at least, they did spend effort. Ada gak keluar effort.
Geng bikers, geng tabligh, NGO, those people whether you want to call right or wrong, ada gak keluar effort untuk something.
But those who "shovelled shit in Lousiana", cakap je berdegar2 tapi tak ada apa.
Lepas tulis panjang2, macam biasa, aku kena kritik, atau in their words "kena pundek".
In the end, those yang did something, rasa malas.
Aku rasa bodoh dan penat tulis panjang2 dengan well intention, tapi no use.
It's the same tired-ness lepas kau baca kes Cikgu Azizan.
Kau tegur anak murid kau, anak murid kau sound kau balik, kau tampar dia, in the end kau naik mahkamah, mak bapak murid kau blame dan salahkan kau,
padahal kau nak betulkan keadaan.
In the end, kau rasa malas.
Kau jadi fragile.
Orang boleh sembang SOP lengkap dengan hadis Nabi "tak mencederakan muka" bagai. Orang boleh sembang kencang jadi pro dalam education degree bagai.
Tapi in the end, it doesn't even matter. Murid tu lagi cilaka, mak bapak salahkan kau.
Penat.
Letih.
Dan started from that night, tiba2 aku realised something.
Aku fragile. Aku dah tua, umur 35 tahun ni. Aku bukan prophet nak ubah orang, aku bukan the bloody messiah untuk ubah dunia ni.
I'm just tired.
Bila kau tired, kau realise limitation kau, tenaga, umur, masa kau yang limited, kau akan start discriminate.
Kau hanya focus dekat family kau, life kau. Selain dari itu, kau ignore.
Anak melayu lain yang bermasalah, pergi jahannam. Orang nak hisap bong, lantaklah.
The world keeps turning.
Kau nak mati dengan glue inhalement kau, kau bukan anak aku, mak bapak kau boleh uruskan.
Aku ignore dan discriminate.
Ada yang mintak tolong tadi, aku just delete je butang conversation.
Aku malas. Let them shovelled shit in Lousiana for all I care.
0:00 Roundabout
8:30 Cans And Brahms
10:11 We Have Heaven
11:51 South Side Of The Sky
19:46 Five Per Cent For Nothing
20:24 Long Distance Runaround
23:50 The Fish (Schindleria praematurus)
26:32 Mood For A Day
29:31 Heart Of The Sunrise
Cuti tahun baru ni, selain dari lepak dengan family, bermain dengan nieces aku Sabrina dan Chayra, aku nak rilek2 main guitar saja. nak practice strumming, sebab aku masih tak pandai nak strumming upstroke downstroke dengan beat macam ni (selancar yang boleh).
Lead dia banyak kau boleh tengok di Youtube, covered by other guys (kau boleh belajar dengan kelajuan slow sikit), anyway it's a fun video.