Today, Chayra is sick with diarrhea. She's tired but she want to play, but she was tired and is tired.
Me too.
I told myself, there's no need to update the blog, to bla bla so much in the social media, but I'm just like Chayra.
I'm tired but I want to play, but I was tired and am tired now.
Too many things in the social media, from Undirosak movement,
an Indian kid who got killed at a low cost flat just because some dickhead threw a chair from above,
a non Muslim who debated Islamic stuff with a Muslim in FB,
the news and the feeds,
the noises,
and all the other noises,
whether white noises, background noises, screams, whispers, propaganda, talks.....it's just that everyone want to speak, because they think, to validate their existence, to validate their thoughts.
I'm like Chayra, I'm tired but I wanted to make pretty speeches in the social media.
Instead, I felt numb and dumb.
Actually over this week, I've written few things, about my argument with my wife, some things about friends, people in the social media, 3-4 writings at my PC,
but then at this moment, I'm just overwhelmed by a mega magnitude of disconcern.
So here it is. A blog entry with the spirit of art collage.
Since I've wasted your time reading this, I guess it's pretty good to actually give you back something worthwhile. So here it is. Go and download it
As there are people out side Malaysia reading this, I had to explain a bit as simple as possible in my story.
Well in Malaysia, there are many races, and 3 predominant race here are Malays (the native, although technically this fact can be debated), Chinese and Indians.
Cultural assimilations happens, but no matter how you understand and tolerate each other,
you can't really change the color of your skin.
(I used the phrases "cant really change" because there are people who did plastic surgery to make themselves "white", yet they are still perceived as their original race)
It is an open secret among us Malaysians, that there is a "divide", that still exist, you can say it due to income inequality and whatever reasons out there.
There is still stigma that Malays are lazy, Chinese are greedy, Indians are drunken people,
and other stigma,
that Malaysian use to "shoot" each other whenever some shit occurs.
Yet, when Nicol David became World Champion in squash from 2005 to 2012,
nobody in Malaysia question her race.
Because she was successful, everybody want to identify with her,
hence people called her as Malaysian.
So do Tony Fernandes (Air Asia boss) and Lee Chong Wei.
So my idea here,
don't get butthurt if you're a victim of racism.
For me, those who have this racist mindset, usually, have poor mentality in their mind.
Get successful and nobody will bother about your race.
Someone I knew is in a predicament, which I could not do much help.
I knew he wanted to vent out his frustration, but I kinda cut the conversation, and just told him my idea how to solve it, and not to think so much about being failures and those negative thoughts, because I don’t want him to turn up depressed.
When a few people, close and personal to me, died, passed away throughout my life,
after the prayers, the Fatihah, Yasin and tahlil.
I will pickup my acoustic guitar (gitar kapok) and play this Carcass - Polarised endlessly in repetition, to cope with the loss.
In this video, the minute 1:56 above is the beauty of this song. Actually I could not play that part as perfect as this fella, I improvised a bit to get the sound closest to it.
The feeling is what Chairil Ahmad said “Life is but postponement of defeats.”
.And after that, you got to rise and continue on with your life.
I cooked this, as I've promised my wife during an argument previously. (Men always promise things just to stop arguing with the wife)
It was:-
1. Pumpkin cooked in chillied coconut milk gravy.
2. Chillied cooked anchovies
3. Fried Winged bean cooked in chillied soy sauce.
4. Egg fried with tomato.
5. Fried dried fish.
B. Indie Writer
I wrote in previous post that I argued with a prominent indie writer in FB.
I felt that if I'm a gentleman, after arguing stupidly with someone, that I should meet him face to face over a cup of tea.
So I went to his office, met him then sat over cups of tea and drinks, food.
From 5.00pm to 4.00am of the next day. 11 hours session of talking listening, pausing a while thinking of something to talk, and repeating the cycle.
But I won't tell anyone what we talked and discussed.
Recently at TV2, they were playing advertisement of the movie The Bucket List to broadcasted sometime this week.
For me the dialogue in the advert interest me the most as it kept me thinking.
Edward Cole: I build a billion dollar business up from NOTHING! Presidents have asked my advice, I have dined with royalty, and i'm supposed to make out like what? This trip was supposed to MEAN something to me? Like it was gonna change ME? How did you see it playing out Carter, I knock on the door, she answers, she's surprised and angry, but I tell her how much I love her and miss her, and OH, by the way, I'm gonna be dead soon so I'm reaching out to you because I don't wanna die alone?
Edward Cole: I'm not everyone! This was supposed to be fun. That's all it ever was.
Just because someone told you a story, and somehow even if it's personal, does not give you the right to be a part of it.
That idea blew me inside out.
Anyhow, if I told everyone about it, it'll be a story from me, as if I'm part of it, that is something that I felt phoney.
So it'll remain between the two of us.
C. Making Up with Wife : How Tenaga Nasional Berhad helped
Anybody's wife will be crazy if her husband only turns up at the house at 5.00am in the morning.
I tried to be as silent as possible, with the lowest decibel (dB).
But when I opened the door and stepped inside,
my wife was wide awake, watching "Pak Kaduk 3" at TV2 RTM channel.
She had the most serious look I ever witnessed. Oh shit.
But she was silent. She didn't spoke a word.\
Actually, as a guy, that is a bit relief and a bit of worry as well.
The relief part was the silence, you escaped the "membebel" / babbling / arguing bla bla because it'll drained you mentally.
Listening to a "ceramah" at 5.00am in the morning?
So that was the relief.
The worry part is the silence also means you don't know what will happen next.
I said the sweet words, no reply.
I guessed, the Pak Kaduk 3 story was boring like shit, she got up, she went into the bedroom and locked it from inside.
I understand my punishment then. I had to sleep at the living room.
Then I woke up around 9.00am feeling hot as hell.
I got up and went to the front door to switch on the lights and the fan.
Then I realised, the bedroom's door is open!
Oh Graceful God, I give much thanks to Thee!
I walked coyly to the bedroom, and my wife was just coming out from the bathroom.
As I tried to hug her, she screamed,
"Eh rimas lah, rumah dah lah tengah takde elektrik ni, panas, eh siap siap lah kita keluar breakfast lepas tu lepak mana mana, kat shopping mall ke"
She opened the door because it was hot, and that was because there was disruption of electrical supply from the power provider Tenaga Nasional Berhad.
We spent the afternoon at an air-conditioned shopping mall nearby, and this late afternoon at an air-conditioned cybercafe where I wrote this while she played Tennis Titans.
Binatang ni nama dia Stoat. Kau boleh wiki pasal binatang comel ni.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoat
Sejenis weasel yang tak hidup di Malaysia ni. gambar dia ada sini pasal dia comel.
Hampir setiap orang yang aku jumpa tadi pada 1 Januari 2018, dari gadis stesen minyak, brader 7-e dan lain2, aku wish selamat tahun baru. Takdak niat apa, orang yang kerja retail, kau wish dia tiba2, selalunya dia rasa a bit warm dan terima kasih.
Aku doakan semua korang yang membaca ni, , akan kesejahteraan dan kesihatan semua. Semoga semua damai2 saja.
Gambar comel ni nak bagi feeling warm untuk semua time2 ni, where most of you guys tengah holiday.
Itu hari aku ada gaduh bodoh2 dengan seorang Indie Writer di FB.
Dia punya pissed off memang tak ingat.
So ini just a review about it, plus a few cerita yang a bit melalut tapi aku rasa worthwhile to think.
Kata Indie Writer tersebut "kau bukan orang dalam scene ni", so aku better verify sini.
Memang aku orang luar yang skema pun.
A. Intro
Perang, konflik, it happens everyday in man's life, that somehow, an atheist might ask, "kalau Tuhan mercyful, sebab apa orang Syria Muslim tu kena slaughter?
Kenapa Tuhan wujudkan konflik dan perperangan?"
Pada aku lah, jawapan soalan ni dia senang cakap but very hurtful, but it's quite true,
war and conflicts somehow indirectly makes us progress.
Aku bukan wakil Tuhan untuk bagitau, itu adalah jawapan absolute, cuma aku rasa semua benda ada both bad and good value, it all depends on how u look at it.
World War 2 bunuh 50 juta orang lebih, tapi banyak teknologi yang ada sekarang ni disebabkan both sides nak menang perang tu.
Mamat yang invent microwave tu kerja di Raytheon sebab nak majukan lagi teknologi radar time World War 2.
Kau mungkin terfikir kenapa orang agungkan sangat penciptaan transistor? It is because makes radio parts (terutama part tuning, kau nak amplify signal)
and other electronic equipment much easier,
hasil dari improvements of radio technology yang orang intensify research during World War 2,
semua orang nak progress kan technology radio and RADAR to get better radios for military,
cuma, teknologi transistor finally perfected lepas perang, the idea and concepts behind it datang from those who worked during the war.
Internet kau pakai takkan ada tanpa satelite network, and people won't launch anything to space kalau tak sebab teknologi rocket V2 yang menjadi objek pertama di dunia
yang terbang melepasi Von Karman line (100 km above sea level, which FAA now considers as "Space")
Liquid fuel for V2 rockets volatile sangat for handling, mamat nama Pearson terfikir nak tambah bitumen dalam mixture to make solid fuel, senang nak handle and
bubuh dalam rocket, research funded by US military during world war 2 sebab
military ada problem nak launch aircraft besar2 berat from carriers, they need jet assisted takeoff for this.
In the spirit of this argument, aku rasa pergaduhan mulut di FB ni, sebenarnya, kalau viewed positively, banyak juga idea yang aku rasa
worthwhile to think off.
Dan kebetulan, it happens masa Antithesis Benz Ali diharamkan.
To divert to Antithesis,
Pada aku, kacamata skema, daripada tanya, patut ke tak buku tu diharamkan (just to question sentiment) , i think a better question should be,
"Macam mana government nak haramkan satu buku?
Government boleh sesuka suki cakap haram, tapi boleh ke dia stop buku tu dari dibaca?" (apa mechanism nak mengharamkan buku?)
B. how it is implemented.
Ada 3 elemen penting dalam book industry di Malaysia ni.
1. Writer
2. Publisher
3. Pencetak
Selalunya layman tak peduli sangat pasal pencetak, tapi dia lah elemen paling utama sebab pencetak-lah yang bagi "rupabentuk fizikal" buku tu untuk kau baca.
Pengharaman buku, falls under Akta 301 Akta Mesin Cetak dan Penerbitan 1984. Implementation dia by Kementerian Dalam Negeri.
KDN, as you know, one of the responsibilities is about nation's security.
Akta ni, kalau kau baca, lepas dia habis define legally all terms that is used, dia start dengan Seksyen 3 dengan clause
"tiada seorangpun boleh menyimpan untuk digunakan atau mengguna mesin cetak melainkan jika ia telah di beri lesen di bawah subseksyen (3)."
Sebenarnya kalau ikut Akta, permit bagi buku, nak bagi dia boleh di-distribute, adalah bergantung kepada permit kepada pencetak.
Kalau Government nak haramkan buku,
dia perlu stop 3 benda,
1. Pencetakan
2. Pengedaran
3. Pemilikan
First KDN perlu bagi notice pengharaman. Dalam kes Antithesis, a press conference was made last Friday. In a way, the way it is told to the respective companies,
"Your permit to print now, no longer includes this books".
So company yang cetak perlu faham, kalau dia print juga buku "haram" tu, the permit to print other legal books can be revoked.
Then, untuk halang pengedaran dan pemilikan, Seksyen 8 diperuntukkan untuk tangani.
Seksyen 8(1) = pemilikan penerbitan haram = denda tak melebihi RM 5,000.
Seksyen 8(2) = distribution = penjara 3 tahun atau denda tak lebih RM 20,000 atau kedua duanya.
Yang tak best dalam akta ni,
Seksyen 16 - Waran Geledah
Seksyen 17 - Kuasa Membuka bungkusan
Seksyen 18 - Kuasa Menyita dan menahan
Seksyen 20 - Tangkapan tanpa waran tangkap = yang ni paling tak best.
Patut ke tak buku tu kena haram? Ada board yang review untuk define buku tu haram ke tak?
= Ikut Akta ni, ia bergantung kepada budi bicara Menteri (Menteri Dalam Negeri). Kuasa penuh kat tangan dia.
Bila baca benda ni, pada aku, kurang bijak juga kau letak email kau di FB minta orang email kan kau buku tu, sebab itu menunjukkan bukti pemilikan.
Pada pendapat aku je lah. Kau ada pendapat kau sendiri with your reasoning.
C. Books demanufactured.
Pernah dengar kes publisher Thukul Cetak buat jualan solidariti lepas PBAKL 2017?
In summary, Thukul Cetak ter-over produce buku. 50 title buku diorang aim for PBAKL. What happens is banyak yang tak terjual, tapi company pencetak
mintak jugak duit over cetakan buku.
In the end, Thukul Cetak terhutang RM100k kepada pencetak, and Pencetak dah start pakai lawyer tuntut duit tu.
(Mutalib Uthman ada pencetakan dia sendiri yang dapat lesen KDN, Percetakan Mutalib Uthman. My best guess is, untuk aim
sales PBAKL 2017, Thukul Cetak pun ada pakai syarikat pencetakan lain sekali untuk tolong produce buku sebanyak mungkin for PBAKL)
Sekali, what happens, ekonomi cilaka, walaupun hype dan trendy PBAKL 2017 dengan promotion bagai,
ramai orang datang, tapi sales kurang dari PBAKL terdahulu,
orang ramai dah start berkira2 beli buku sebab duit poket masing2 bocor.
So itu yang terpaksa buat jualan solidariti untuk cover that debt.
Sebagai orang skema, aku tak berminat sangat sentiment, justification whether ethical ke tak tindakan jualan solidariti tu.
In the end, when shit hits the fan, janji nak setelkan masalah saja, last last TC pekak-kan telinga atas cakap2 orang tentang salah atau betul, ethic ke tak.
Yang penting tak muflis.
Aku pun akan buat benda sama. Bankruptcy bukan benda kecil anak, yang kau perlu nak layan sangat sampai nak buat debate bagai.
Kalau tak salah aku, untuk cetak buku, minimum quantity selalunya 1000 ke 2000 books per title. Ikut company pencetak, sebab dia pun nak ensure profit margin.
Tapi tanggungjawab buku tu laku ke tak, falls under Publisher.
Publisher pun kena keluar duit bayar kat pencetak,
tapi publisher tak ada cara sangat nak ensure profit margin.
Tu sebab, royalti buku divided ikut percentage between Publisher and writer.
Publisher terpaksa all out buat marketing untuk pastikan sales tu dapat cover cost bayar pencetak dan ada margin nak cover overhead (staff, office) dan lepas
tu baru fikir profit.
Dan yang paling frustrating dalam business book publishing ni,
online likes, online words of mouth, popularity, belum tentu translate into sales.
Most indie publishers macam Terfaktab Media, (ya sayang sekali dah tutup) aku rasa diorang dah realise benda ni quite sometime.
Popular atau power macam mana pun satu2 books, belum tentu orang beli.
D. Prinsip Pareto
Masa 2013, masa aku startup blog ni dan ada angan2 taik ayam nak jadi writer, ada satu view yang menarik aku dapat dari one book-shop owner.
Kau tau prinsip Pareto? Idea Prinsip Pareto dalam isu buku basically is, 20% je buku yang hasilkan 80% of the sales in the book store.
This fella shared with me, Indie book sales masa mula2 2012 2013 memang jadi some of those 80% but somehow dropped after that. Indie books no
longer became the profits.
"Kau jangan jadi writer la kalau nak buat duit", kata beliau.
Kalau kau nak juga, make sure ada stable income. Most writers in Malaysia did that. Faisal Tehrani tu lecturer kalau tak silap.
I learned also that most book shops profit margin banyak dekat stationeries dengan book sekolah. Sebab stationeries
and buku sekolah a necessity, buku lain selalunya orang beli hanya kalau ada duit lebih.
Memang ada orang macam aku yang beli buku for reading and collection, tapi tak seramai yang perlu untuk support sales.
Kalau dalam komik Shin Chan, ada watak 2 orang kakak tua, yang bertugas untuk halang orang baca free.
Kat Malaysia jarang kedai buku employ orang macam ni, sebab ikut pemerhatian bro tu,
selalunya orang yang kalau dah tahap pegang2 buku tu 2-3 kali, most likely dia beli buku tu.
Tapi orang kebanyakanya, masuk kedai buku window shopping.
Then government incentive came in the form of Kad siswa. Tapi economy pulak sengal.
The thing is, budaya simpan duit beli buku untuk bacaan santai jarang2 ada, dan kalau ada pun, very few. And these few pun, kadang2 beli comics.
Orang kebanyakannya simpan duit untuk beli buku sekolah anak, dan stationery anak. Ada duit lebih pun, belum tentu lagi beli buku.
Kau nak blame kurang budaya membaca?
Sometimes, orang penat kerja 9-5, dan dah ada FB dan handphone, kau nak expect dia beli buku novel, bila masa dia nak baca?
Tapi kalau minat boleh. Cuma most people don't and didn't.
E. Menganjing orang
Untuk orang luar macam aku, dan apa yang aku faham seperti di atas, aku tak nampak sense kenapa budak2 scene indie ni, suka benar menganjing sesama sendiri.
Aku tengok, benda2 ni start dalam indie scene ni sebab football hooligan, yang orang suka kutuk2 team bola orang lain.
Komuniti online dekat Malaysia tahun2 2006-2010, mesti tahu tahu Obefiend.
Abg Obe start buat benda2 hip macam blog FOA dan Sokernet (ini sebelum blogserius popular lagi), dan time2 ni la budaya troll kutuk2 ni start kat Malaysia.
Aku ingat lagi Mamat nama Luqiee (dia claim dia anak Sultan Brunei) kena troll kaw kaw dengan Obe followers.
Aku kebetulan 2006 dah start keja, memang selalu spend time surfing sebab masa tu di Dubai, UAE from 2006 - 2009,
memang kena online pun nak tau apa jadi kat Malaysia.
Aku tak considered myself as those yang dalam komuniti online, aku jenis tergelak2 baca benda2 kelakar dalam Net.
Year 2010 or so, time tu kerja di Malaysia full time, aku follow Terfaktab, and that included that Indie writer yang aku bergaduh tu.
Then aku start beli buku2 Terfaktab, ikut2 cerita2 diorang online semua.
Somehow time ni lah indie book scene Malaysia up. Analogy dia macam lagu2 metal underground yang tak keluar radio.
Kau tahu thru online. Dan kau beli.
Cuma yang tak best pasal scene diorang, geng2 indie ni terbawak2 lebih2 sangat semangat troll2 kutuk ni.
Masa 2012 2013 memang hip. Dan troll2 kutuk ni membawa publicity, and in 2012, 2013, it brings sales.
Cuma, dah 2017 ni, indie publisher macam Terfaktab pun dah tutup, masih duk bawak style2 kutuk troll orang ni, dia tak translate into sales.
Face it, zaman 2017 ni zaman buku2 santai dah terover produce.
Kau buat style sensasi kutuk2 troll ni, it will bring a certain type of audience,
cuma these audience yang suka sensasi kutuk2 troll ni,
confirm ke beli buku?
F. Indie writer dan FB
Buku dia ok sedap. Dan yang penting, dia orang yang suka membaca. So bila dia up tulisan di di FB, tulisan dia thought provoking.
Tambahan pula, buku dia banyak aku beli. So aku follow FB dia, cuma FB account dia tak ada butang Follow, so setiap kali aku nak baca dia,
aku search dia di FB.
Dulu aku pun jenis suka meluahkan idea di FB. Lama2 aku rasa misguided. Sebab aku rasa macam force sedara mara aku baca TLDR stuff.
Aku bukan jenis suka force2 orang sebab aku rasa semua orang ada otak dan taste sendiri.
So kalau aku nak luah idea suka suki, aku tulis di blog. Selepas aku kahwin, FB aku restrict to really close friends dan sedara mara.
Sebabkan idea yang aku selalu tulis di blog ni, quote dari Bernard Baruch "those whom don't matter, matters, those that matter, matters not".
Bernard Baruch buat satu dinner event, tapi somehow seating arrangment dalam event tu agak berterabur. So ada wartawan tanya Bernard Baruch, macam tak ok je
seating arrangement kau, dan dijawab Bernard Baruch dengan quote dia tu yang somehow become classic.
In summary idea dia is, orang2 family dan close friends kau, dia tak kisah hal2 remeh, dan orang2 yang amik tau sangat hal2 remeh ni, kau tak payah kisah sangat.
Dan aku tak suka nak popularkan blog atau idea aku. Pada aku, popularity benda melecehkan. Sebab nanti kau nak layan orang leceh2, time dan effort dan data Internet
kau wasted tanpa ada pulangan duit yang boleh bayar bil.
G. Itu hari punya cerita.
Well a group of youngsters bersemangat hari tu buat sambutan API. Indie writer ni gurau kasar dengan these youngsters.
Cuma aku ternampak satu point yang boleh tembak balik Indie writer ni.
The youngsters sangat2 disappointed dengan gurauan Indie writer ni. Diorang appeal dengan hujah.
sebenarnya boleh saja "wat lek wat pis" sudah (Malay local slang term from buat rilek buat peace sudah).
Cuma aku rasa, diorang support writing kau, kau gurau2 kutuk macam tu, of course orang disappointed.
Orang kata, orang Melayu ni penuh dengki dan hasad dendam. Well aku tambah sikit, selalunya all those dengki and hasad dendam, selalunya berpunca
daripada mulut kutuk2 sound ni la.
Orang Melayu, in a biased generalisation, suka benor kutuk2 sesama sendiri. Kadang2 in the name of fun. Tapi tu la yang punca dengki, dia nak
counter balik pakai hujah tak boleh, sebab orang kuat mengutuk ni selalunya pandai bercakap.
In the end, kau sakit hati, kau dengki.
Pastu kau wonder apa hal Melayu tak bersatu.
Dengan saja2 niat nakal, aku print screen what Indie writer wrote, aku send kat company publisher yang dia represent.
Point aku mudah saja. Kau duta syarikat, kau makan gaji dengan company tu, kau selamba je tulis pasal bong bagai.
One thing juga, boleh je nak argue pasal socialism bagai tulis panjang2, tapi it'll look like giving drink to a drowning person.
Well intent, tapi pointless act.
Kalau betul2 nak impact, kau tak semesti lawan hujah. kalau kau nak fight, dan nak menang, well Machiavelli-ly, try buat macam ni.
Aku rasa Indie writer tu terkejut dan mintak aku delete.
Aku bagitau, well, nothing much will happen sebab aku tak ada pengaruh ke apa, most probably management publisher tu tiau kau je.
And I guess, that's what happen.
For the next few days, wah dia maki aku dalam FB tak cukup tanah. Well, I accept that sebab betul juga, apa aku buat tu boleh sampai
tahap orang hilang mata pencarian.
Sorry la bro, aku susahkan kau.
One thing la, kau tulis la apa kau nak. Aku tak ada nak force kau accept. Aku bukan preacher pun in the first place.
But itu lah popularity and fame.
Bila kau popular, kau attract both bees and flies.
John Lennon tu tak salah apa pun. Tahu2 keluar studio, Mark Chapman tembak dia sampai meninggal. Dia punya justification, John Lennon sell out. Orang sell
out ni phony, macam dalam buku Catcher In The Rye yang dia pegang waktu tembak John Lennon.
Dunia ni gila sampai macam tu sekali.
Aku waras lagi, so aku tak justify apa aku buat. Yang aku buat tu salah dan sengal. Sorry la bro.
H. Some review about Indie writer's latest work
Aku follow Indie writer punya latest writing, Cheras Perdana series, di Wattpad.
(https://www.wattpad.com/user/comradenami)
dia ada a few, Operasi Bocor, Mencari Si Jongos, those are also what I considered CP series.
Aku rasa, due to previous novel's sales, dia dah mula nak tinggalkan tulisan berat dan nak tulis santai2.
It's about a group of youngsters living in Cheras Perdana. Cerita2 remaja, youngsters prank and macam2.
First thing, kau kena betul2 follow series dia untuk get the rythmn sebab writer tak mau bore kau dengan plot yang disampai oleh pihak ketiga.
Approach macam ni bagus sebab free flowing imagination dan dia tak mau dictate kau punya fikiran.
Social critic dia lebih kepada impression kepada watak2 yang pegang authority (Ustaz dan cikgu). Orang yang does not practice what they preach.
Dan in the end watak authority tu pun terpaksa depend dengan watak prank dalam series ni.
Elemen2 cinta remaja yang macam dalam Awek Chuck Taylor tu pun ada dalam ni.
Benda baca rilek2.
Kalau series ni berjaya in sales, memang ada potential boleh emulate success Awek Chuck Taylor.
Aku suggest korang follow series ni di Wattpad dan beli buku dia bila keluar nanti.
