This time I don't really mind what language is to be used for this entry/story.
And so I ask forgiveness, should any of the readers whom got lost along the story.
In this story, actually I myself felt lost too.
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teardrop_(song)
Fraser wrote the song's lyrics. While recording the song on 29 May 1997, she found out that her once-close friend, Jeff Buckley, had drowned. "That was so weird ... I'd got letters out and I was thinking about him. That song's kind of about him – that's how it feels to me anyway."
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teardrop_(song)
Fraser wrote the song's lyrics. While recording the song on 29 May 1997, she found out that her once-close friend, Jeff Buckley, had drowned. "That was so weird ... I'd got letters out and I was thinking about him. That song's kind of about him – that's how it feels to me anyway."
On Friday24 March 2017, my wife, whom now work on a retail supermarket, got her hands injured while pushing trolley.
The next Saturday, she went to Clinic and was "awarded" two days of MC.
It was at the same day that my sister-in-law, a.k.a Sabrina's mom (Sabrina my favourite niece) got warded to KPMC Kajang as she was about due to give birth.
The next Saturday, she went to Clinic and was "awarded" two days of MC.
It was at the same day that my sister-in-law, a.k.a Sabrina's mom (Sabrina my favourite niece) got warded to KPMC Kajang as she was about due to give birth.
My wife rested at house with anxiety.
And so, on the Sunday, we went to KPMC Kajang together with my mother/father-in law, together with Sabrina.
And so, on the Sunday, we went to KPMC Kajang together with my mother/father-in law, together with Sabrina.
Last 26 March 2017, my sister-in-law,
a.k.a. Sabrina's mom (Sabrina my favourite niece), gave birth to a cute
litte girl about 6.20pm.
My mother came around the evening after Maghrib with my step-dad.
What I saw, was not only about the cuteness of a little girl, but also the turmoils of giving birth and the pain afterwards.
There was few times where the floor were covered with blood, as my sister in law was struggling to go to toilet and almost fainted.
I almost got angry with some of the relatives, whom are cousins of wife, young girls whom shrieks and laughs loudly taking selfies and wefies with the young niece of mine.
Why?
Because I knew the mother was in deep pain and helpless, and she felt helpless looking at young girls who went taking photos.
Luckily my mother-in-law, whom from Malacca had a fierce mouth, as most Malaccans do.
My mother who came, chit-chatted with the relatives of her in-laws, and she had this somehow sorrow teary melancholic look.
She iterated few times these words.
"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".
My mother-in-law and myself couldn't help noticing my mom's words and reaction.
But silence is sometimes the best we could offer at times like that.
28 March 2017, my birthday, wife is working, I just finished one freelance job the week before so I'm free like a bird, and so that afternoon, I went to mom's house at Kajang from Subang.
Stopped by at RNR Serdang, bought some mangoes "milk-mangoes" a.k.a. mangga susu.
RM20.00 per kilo, but it was worth it.
It was "milky" and sweet.
Went around Kajang town with mom but I told her I wanted her chicken curry she cooked some days before. So we had our lunch together at her house.
After lunch, we chit-chatted together.
Somehow I learned of her latest heart-break.
I learned something from her latest heart-break.
When you are angry or upset, please keep quiet and don't say anything.
Usually what happens, is that most of the time, you'll hurt the loved ones most.
Up to an extent, loved ones just felt hurt and doesn't want to care even though she cares.
If you look it at some different view, different angle, you'll see that, we always hurt those closest to us, and not those who are apart, i.e. friends, colleagues.
Ironic, isn't it?
The heart-break was caused from an anger that actually arose out of nothing, small non-essential issues.
So I tried contacting that "special-someone" for a chit-chat to know why he had cause my mom's heart-break.
Since it was my birthday, I thought it was ok for him to have a drink with me.
There was no reply on my call or on my Whatsapp.
Nevertheless, the mood was good since it was my birthday, furthermore, we received news that my cousin delivered a baby-girl at the morning of my birthday.
On late Wednesday, my wife returned home early, had an off day on Thursday, and she started late on afternoon shift on Friday.
So we're off to Cheras from Subang, rented a hotel nearby my father-in-law house, visiting the family and the new-born baby.
(In Malay custom, usually the mother who just given birth are under "pantang" and under the care of the "elders", in this case it is my mother in law).
During our stay there, of course my wife and I were happy seeing our new-born niece.
But Sabrina threw tantrum nowdays, since she got less attention from her mom.
"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".
I saw how difficult for my sister-in-law to handle the situation, but she made it.
Somehow Sabrina now have to learn being an older sister.
We celebrated my father-in-law's birthday on March 30'th with a feast of Durian and coconut juice.
We brought home some Durian fruit back to mom-in-law's house, with KFC bucket.
While we're enjoying our dinner, I received an SMS.
It was from the "special-someone".
It was shocking.
He told me he deleted his Whatsapp and no longer using the phone that we bought for him.
He told me he put the handphone inside the freezer.
The freezer, the refrigerator, that mechanical equipment that cools things and we're supposed to put ice-cream instead of a phone.
I replied that it was "zalim" to put things not at its rightful place. Zalim can be meant "despotic" and it is usually used to describe despotic-ness, and it's Arab mindset that imply despotic-ness came from not putting things at its correct place.
He replied angrily and that was when I realised something.
It's a mental problem.
To me, I realised, it was mental problem that was caused by previous substance abuse.
For women out-there, (because men seldom reads this blog thing), if a guy did any substance abuse, just reject him please.
Any substance abuse, including drinking, smoking weed, glue-sniffing even though it is perceived as minimal kinda thing.
One of the days the brain will somehow short-circuited. Some days after, usually when you need him most.
There's no reason for anyone to get into substance abuse other than reason of being cool, and the other thing is getting "high" about it makes you creative or whatever.
The addiction kills, and what people doesn't realise is, it really screws your brain, sometime after.
Remember on my previous post, about a writer whom I befriended in FB?
Her mom was in his friendlist. One day he put in his timeline that he doesn't have any money left, and her mom replied in the FB if he need financial assistance.
When he put about smoking weed session in his timeline, imagine how his mother felt reading about it?
"Motherhood, you don't know how painful it felt, all that pain just to see your kid smile".
All the pain of giving birth, the sacrifice, tears, sweat of making sure your kid is ok and somehow,
your kid drowned in the end.
It is disheartening.
Love your mother. Always.
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
Night, night after day
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my...
Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath
You stumbling a little
You stumbling a little
Photo Source :
https://www.google.com/search?q=highway&client=firefox-b-ab&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjqzdbp7YLTAhWJRI8KHeTKD1sQ_AUICSgC&biw=1920&bih=979#q=highway&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CQQLHKcJ0PVvIjhDlnJXyV4WfrRHhA93Jo8Y85ITy7zWbAzGXjzf4caHOUYcViuMoQa6Kg5LRrJkVa7v8ZpusiyHqSoSCUOWclfJXhZ-EZEhVM1WOYXeKhIJtEeED3cmjxgRuzkgf2PrjYgqEgnzkhPLvNZsDBFX8bzIxjKb4CoSCcZePN_1hxoc5EVoNS_1LU001SKhIJRhxWK4yhBroRijCVQpttKokqEgkqDktGsmRVrhHXlytzCoG9syoSCe_1xmm6yLIepEWt5BwoT_1PLO&*