Wednesday, 10 May 2017

icicles trapped in stones

Jan Davidsz. de Heem - Vase of Flowers, 1660
Last Tuesday 9 May 2017, there was a horrific accident happened at Cheras Taman Connaught highway, where two 16-year-old boys on motorcycle, were hit by a lorry, they fell down, and one of the kid got dragged by a nearby van for some distance before stopping.
I don't want to comment about kids riding without licence, as I think people are smart enough to know those kind of things.

The 16-year-old kid who died, also have the name as mine, Firdaus, and somehow it was the son of a close friend/neighbour to my father/mother in-law. The mother knew me and my wife, blessed us with her prayers on our wedding day.

So we went on Wednesday to the funeral at the Cheras mosque. My father/mother in law were at the hosptal from early morning with the bereaved mother.

Funeral at mosque for Malaysian Muslims usually involve the jenazah prayer, and the subsequent burial of the deceased. Usually in accident cases, the body is "bathed" at hospital, as additional care is needed involving body that is much affected by the accident.

We prayed our Zohor prayer, then we prayed for the jenazah prayer. I saw more than 4 "saf" (lining of people in the mosque), meaning there are more than 40 people who prayed for the kid. His school friends, relatives, neighbours, the male Muslims all prayed in the jenazah prayer.

Johannes Vermeer - The Milkmaid 1657–1658

During burial, I stayed only a shortwhile, then wife and I went to lunch with father/mother in law and relatives.

The mother, we knew personally, was quite pious. She had lost one children before (the girl was a person with disability), and when we saw her, she said she "accepted" the fate and said, her son was a loan from God, sometime and somewhere we will be taken away.

It was quite an impassioned sadness, to see a mother trying not to cry over her deceased child.

Imagine, seeing your cute child born, smiling as a baby whild drinking milk, playing joyfully while growing up, and years later, you held the body of your children lay lifeless. It was heartbreaking, and to see the mother trying not to cry after all this, is itself melancholic.
Salomon van Ruisdael - View of Deventer Seen from the North-West 1657
Late evening, we went to see my mom, and went back to our Subang house late at night, luckily the next day is Wesak Day holiday.
Spent quality time with my mother, had a meaningful chat.
One of the discussion we had, is on the topic of "hikmah" or wisdom.

We agree that nowadays, a lot of Malays have that enormous Islamic spirit, but very few possesses wisdom in it.

Sometimes, the problem with some people from the Islamic schools, is that they only learn Islamic knowledge without learning other worldly knowledge, and this causes them to be closed minded. They didn't know economics, sciences, etc but then, they want to talk and condemn about worldly things.

Then second, since they lack the worldly knowledge, they lack of skills, in the end, they turn to business and some other practice like pseudo-scientic medication practice for instance.
The problem arise when they incorporate Islamic element in their practice, and when criticised, is as if it was criticising religion.

And they like to debate.

One of the thing that I learned, is that, if you want to talk about something, especially Islam, you have to possess wisdom and hikmah, otherwise it will cause "fitnah" (bad things) , and you are better silent rather than talk.

And one of the ways, to obtain wisdom, is sometimes, to refrain yourself from making statements even though you are right, or even if you feel right.

For example, one of the reason why I clipped that video of Ustaz Shamsuri, and told you about the patient mother, is about this.

You don't simply say "oh be patient, auntie" to that bereaved mother, because you know she's fighting with her emotions. Don't think your simple words are "easy". Don't think that even if you are with good intention, you can say "oh be patient, auntie. that easily.

I thank God, I didn't. Simply because I myself was in great emotion seeing her that silent and that patient that I couldn't afford to say anything but just nodded down.

Jacob van Ruisdael - The Windmill at Wijk (1670)
Today, when I opened my FB, I just had this "heavy" feeling, while writing this. Remembered my chat with my mother, about wisdom and to refrain.

Sometimes, the beauty of refrain, holding your emotions even though the situation is powerfully emotive, is like icicles trapped in stones.

One good reading :

 The Cranberries - The Icicles Melt

When will the icicle melt?
And when
When will the picture show end 

I should not have read the paper today
Cause a child, child he was taken away 
There's a place for the baby that died
And there's a time for the mother who cried
And she will hold him in her arms sometime
Cause nine months is too long 

How could you hurt a child?
Now does this make you satisfied
I don't know what's happening to people today
When a child, he was taken away 

There's a place for the baby that died
There's a time for the mother that cried
And she will hold him in her arms sometime
Cause nine months is too long 

There's a place for the baby that died
And there's a time for the mother who cried
And you will hold him in your arms sometime
Cause nine months is too long..

Photo Source : Wikimedia Commons