Wednesday, 28 June 2017

Mind your own business Part 2

Continuing from previous post :-

C. Steamy Raya

Eugene Delacroix - Shipwreck on the Coast, 1862
Source : Wikipedia

And so this Raya, my wife and I went to Melaka, to my parent-in-laws village family annual Raya gathering at Bukit Rambai, the house of my mother-in-law's mom.

My sister-in-law, the mother of Sabrina and Chayra, car-pool with us, her husband didn't join us, with parent in law in their own car.

But, the catch in the story is that, my wife and I booked a hotel for two nights, somewhere around Jonker Walk, while my sister-in-law with her two kids stayed at another hotel somewhere around Klebang beach.

Hence, when we arrived, I was bombarded with question and daring looks from the relatives :- Why stayed in the Hotel when we can be here together? It supposed to be a gathering right?

My mother-in-law also punished me in front of the relatives but somehow I managed to keep quiet with my dumb look smile.

My wife's and sister-in-law's reason, is similar:- The house is quite steamily hot. 

But they kept quiet about it when questioned.

On Raya eve, around 8pm, I received a Whatsapp from wife to quietly go to the car.

Earlier, I saw my sister-in-law playing fire-crackers with Sabrina outside the house, when my mother-in-law suddenly excused herself from the relatives to go out to buy pampers for baby Chayra. 

When I arrived, I saw my wife were actually in the car with air conditions turned on, with Chayra, already in the baby car seat prepared.

Ceh! They already planned to get out from the house for a while, in secret, to go to nearest Ice-Cream Ice Bowl shop in Melacca town. Father-in-law was not involved as we will go with only 1 car.

And as the five of us go to our ice-cream getaway, my mother-in-law said "oh god your nenek (grand-ma)'s house is very very very hot".

This is the shop, I went to Kota Laksamana branch, Melaka
Source :

Somehow along the way, and at the Icecream shop, I learnt few family stories/gossips.

It was said that, every Raya at Grandma's house, something will get stolen/missing. And they actually identified the person who did it.

Wife and sister-in-law also shared that they hated some relatives due to their bossy attitude.

When they were young, wife and sister in laws was always criticised as lazy and sloppy by this special boss, while being scolded to do Raya house chores, ie. cleaning dishes, cooking.

They paid my ice-cream as well, probably as either bribe or drivers fee.

Anyhow, every family have their own dark secret and shit stories.

I think the good lesson in this, it is always best to stay in a hotel or lodge whenever we are on a visit to relatives house.

You minimise the conflicts, the bad stale stories and cursed emotions, and if something is missing, there's no finger-pointing.

Hey isn't Hari Raya supposed to be a well-intended vacation?.

I think this is a good practice also to keep a satisfactory level of privacy with your family.

Sometimes, you can see cousins and in-laws in their casualness but not quite appropriate. And you and your family might have your un-appropriate moments too. 

Some people might barged in to rooms of their relatives house, and some un-easiness might arise.

And as usual, as families, I felt, familiarity breeds contempt.

There is no reason of not helping with the cooking of dishes, cleaning dishes, plan it earlier, or just cook it earlier. Sometimes people might criticise, as usual, but at least you sweat during preparation before coming, rather than after seeing them, which might make their shitty opinion less painful.

This year's visit is extra special, as each time we returned to our hotel, we cleaned ourselves and rested while waiting for the traffic to subside (oh it was terrible traffic during Raya in Melaka town), then we went out, my wife and I only, enjoying our romantic getaway at Klebang Beach after having our dinner.

(this video is here to let you imagine how it feels walking with your loved ones at a beach)

D. Waves of the un-necessary talk

Eugene Delacroix - Christ on the Sea of Galilee, 1854
Source : Wikipedia

A man, I feel, is a shit asshole if he have these two shitty qualities at the same time.

1. Hot-tempered
2. Talkative

I have both occuring at the same time, until I learned my lessons well, which enable me to properly court my wife to marriage. And you are a shitty worker or manager if you have those two things at the same time.

This is because this two element involve self-control, and in real life struggles, you might feel being pushed and end up being "hot", but actually, for me, a man should at least be less talkative.

At least being less talkative has its own macho qualities, you can ask numerous disappointed girls out-there on how shitty they felt after admiring a hot guy, only to find out he's an absolute fool after he opened his crappy mouth.

My brother and my mom, whom in this blog, I always mentioned about them being conflict, well....their recent conflict kinda change my perception.

Now I just felt like they are like Neelofa and Fattah Amin. They do "feel" towards one another. As Neelofa ran away when Fazura is around. There is a play of emotions and feelings.

And when you are deeply in love with someone, you want to be close, and you will end up hurting each other. You feel down, hope and tears, then somehow after some days of not speaking and felt a terrible pain of missing each other, they end up embrace each other in their  own sweet ways.

And the best part of it, the cycle continues.

Previously, I treat these as "chronic melancolic" problems, nowadays I just "cheh" / "meh", hey its a lovers quarrel.

The recent incident was idiotically simple.

Since I already declared I'm going to Melacca, so mom want to spend time with bro, at least a day before Raya (since she knew he won't be in her house at Raya day, as "Neelofa" and "Fazura" cannot stand being in the same room) she planned at least, she asked my bro's help to go together to Pasar Kajang for Hari Raya groceries preparation.

My brother asked a stupid question. "Whose money is being used to buy the meat?"

And my mother shouldn't answer that question that shouldn't be asked. It was "Fazura"'s money.

And so "Neelofa" felt pissed off and said not to even touch the dishes "Fattah Amin" (my mother) prepared. And of course a mother would feel hurt by those remarks
Eugene Delacroix - The Lion Chase, 1855
Source : Wikipedia

Un-necessary hurting. Un-necessary questions. Un-necessary answers.
But then, that's what lovers do, I guess.

Eugene Delacroix - A Young Tiger Playing with its Mother, 1830-31
Source : Wikipedia

We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me into cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?
Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?