Sunday, 19 April 2015

Papercuts = this guy is not me. I do not know who he is. 
I don't bother with Instagram or Twitter.

Video : Cranberries - Linger

First of all, I hate writing topics of relationships. When you talk of personal things, you tend to babble and I hate babbling. But sometimes, I write this things since I felt this is something that can be learnt.

So please skip if you found this writing is shit. I hate spoiling your Blogging/Tumblr-ing experience.

I started this blogging/Tumblr-ing when I was at the lowest point in my life. I quit my job and been fighting personal wars which I do not like to disclose.

Then I started working back. Building construction (my job) and  real life, had something in common which is both requires hard work to get it started. And it is hard-work and heart-work to keep the momentum going.

Then someone appears. Someone who read this Tumblr/blog.

We contacted each other thru social media, then there were few times we were calling each other.

To be honest, she was physically more beautiful than me, that I wondered to myself, 
“what the hell does she want from an a**hole like me?”

When I told her my age (31 that time), she was devastated because she thought I’m someone’s husband. When I told her I’m single, she expressed her happiness.

Then she inform she wanted to meet me in person. She was practically 240 kilometers from me. But she still wanted to meet me in person.

Then I asked her, whether she just broke off with someone dearest. Yes she was.

Then I knew what she truly wanted. She wanted to heal off her broken heart. That’s all.

I knew honestly I’m not the best glue in the market to mend and stitch this papercut.

We didn’t contact each other after that, and I ain’t sure whether she hates me for it. (I think she does). But I hope her heart is all mended and beautiful as she is.

I did got rejected, or love things didn’t materialise, prior to this. And I did whine like an idiot. But then I realised.

All of us have papercuts in our hearts. So don’t really insist on Love to practically solve your loneliness or shit. That Beautiful Other have his/her own papercut too.

And don’t bother so much with people who hates you, whatever reason that might be. That a88hole have papercuts too.

You choose whether to let papercuts to linger to your heart or not. It’s your vote, your decision, yours truly. Be specifically clear about this. We all live short lives.

Don’t bother with people you hate too.

Ok enough. Back to our own cursed world, cursed soul and rock and roll.

Vociferation Eternity - The Die Is Cast

Local Malaysia Metal. Band from Ipoh, Perak. I had this casette tape around year 2000.

If I’m not mistaken, its former guitarist, Bentara, is Dr. Ibrisam Akbar, a Lecturer now teaching Engineering at University Teknologi Petronas.

This is his blogspot.

Lyrics :

Blood fears its imperfections
The divine dark force of an azure night
Feeling a caress of death
Set life’s imprisonment tonight

The dusk and her mesmerising cry
Weeping with impending sunlight
Sit and grieve for your lost progeny
Waiting for a dark embrace

The die is cast
Escaping into the night
The die is cast
Souls are chained tonight

Enchantment of moonlight
Dew drops
Black poetry as repressed
Emotions take flight